Imitating Myself
by Late-Sleeper-sama
Summary: Naruto had enough of Sakura's rejection...it's time for payback. The plot is to humilate her so they hired a lowlife raven head to impersonate Sakura's dream guy Sasuke Uchiha...but what they didn't know that it was Sasuke himself. Sasunaru
1. Planning

**Imitating Myself**

**By: Late-Sleeper**

**Beta-reader: ****Pay Backs a Bitch**

**Disclaimer: **I don't own a thing…or else Naruto would be rated NC-17

* * *

**Chapter 1: Planning**

* * *

"What did she tell you this time?" Shikamaru asked as he shook his head and sighed at his friend stupidity. He couldn't imagine how a human being could sustain so much cruelty and embarrassment in such a long time. Really, this stupid love affair…or should he say one-sided love affair, should end, for Naruto's sake…and for his sanity's sake.

Naruto groaned out loud and slammed his head on the table earning him some unwanted attention, glares, surprised glances, raised eyebrows from nearby patrons of the restaurant and an infuriated sigh from a pineapple head genius. "She said that she doesn't like me."

"So? She always tells you that." Kiba rolled his eyes at that statement earning him a glare from the not so bubbly blond beside him.

"…and that she would never, ever like me…."

"Again. So?" Another rolling of the eyes ensued.

Shikamaru gave a loud sigh…or was it a growl. Seriously they had this conversation everyday…it's like a ritual for them to end the day by discussing Naruto's stupid attempts at getting Sakura's attention which by the way, always end up in a total rejection. "You really need to give us something new Naruto. She always says those things…but you never, ever give up. So what are you fuming about this time?"

"Gee! Such great friends I have. Well she told me that she would never like a lowly employee like me." An open mouth and a raised brow was all he got for a reply. "…and with her beauty she was destined to be the wife of a billionaire like 'Uchiha Sasuke'…"

Kiba slammed his hand on the table gaining yet again curious glances, hateful glares, and shocked looks from nearby customer. "She really did it this time. What was that about lowly employee??" Kiba slung his right hand on the shoulder of a startled Naruto and gave a cheeky grin on his way. "She really needs to come down to earth. A good prank would be just the thing to give Little Miss Princess a taste of reality."

"And what do you propose we do?"

"Make her fall in love with a lowlife like you!"

A grin. Raised brow. Confused look.

A grin. A raised brow. Very confused look.

A strained grin. An annoyed look. A face of realization.

"Hey! What do you mean lowlife?! She didn't say that. She said lowly employee."

"Stupid! That what she was implying." Kiba sneered.

"Did not."

"Did to."

"Not. Asshole!"

"Was to. Ramen-brain."

"Fuck You Dog breath!" And that started World War III. Fists were flying everywhere. Kicks were being dodged with accurate precision. An upper cut was launched hitting someone on the gut knocking some air out of the poor blond. A kick on the groin was the blonde's answer sending the dog boy down on his knees…che! There goes the lineage of the Inuzaka. Growls and snarls could be heard allover the restaurant.

A vein was beginning to throb on Shikamaru's head. A migraine was beginning to erupt. "ENOUGH!"

The two idiots were frozen on the spot as Shikamaru slammed both his hands on the table sending once again attention of the whole crowd to their table. The two were frozen in the middle of their fight, each was afraid to move even an inch that may further aggravate the genius wrath. A mad Shikamaru is really scary.

"So Kiba, what do you planning for this so called reven…I mean prank?"

In a flash the two separated from their current position and assumed their seats once again at their table. "Yeah Dog-breath, tell us your oh-mighty plan to take over the universe." Naruto sneered earning him a growl from the dog boy.

"Enough Naruto."

"Che. I'm helping you here ramen-baka. Well if you really want to know…" Kiba gave leer at Shikamaru's way. "We'll make Sakura fall in love with a lowlife…"

Growl.

"But how?"

"By impersonating the Uchiha."

Raised brow. Indecisive look.

"You mean to say that a man would pose as the Uchiha and make Sakura fall for him and when she does we let out the truth…"

Kiba nod vigorously and grinned at his brilliant idea. "…in front of everybody." Silent devilish snickers could be heard.

Naruto look at his two friends who were planning some evil plot for world domination… err I mean an evil prank on Sakura. He shuddered as Shikamaru's face lit up at what the dog boy was saying…really a mad Shikamaru is scary…but an evil plotting Shikamaru is way terrifying than having your body chopped into pieces.

"That's not going to work."

Kiba glared at Naruto for interrupting their intellectual conversation. Really, can't Naruto be grateful enough that he was doing such length to avenge him? It's not that he wanted to spite the pink bitch because she shooed him like a dog yesterday…really there's no malice here. It was all for Naruto's sake.

"Sakura would definitely know it's a fake Sasuke."

Shikamaru rested his head on his palm. Sigh, another peaceful day wasted by troublesome conversation. "…but she never met the Uchiha again after he moved away, right? I've heard that the Uchiha had evaded all media coverage's and photo shoots, so practically nobody, well except for the high society, know his face."

"That's right, tell it to him Shika." Kiba put out his tongue at the blond earning him a jab at his right.

"So even if she had a picture of him in elementary, we could always find someone that would match up to his traits. So what the hell did he look like in elementary? I've heard when we move here he was the prince of your school."

Kiba snorted at that. "Lucky for him I move in a few years after he left or else he would have had me as competition."

Naruto and Shikamaru both rolled their eyes at that.

"Well Sasuke-teme is a bastard. He had this emo-look that told us all that, he's the most pitiful human being that's why girls go gaga over him. He always wears dark clothes to match up his black stupid hair and fucking eyes."

"Oh, you mean to say that he is handsome. A silent type of guy who girls swoon over. A raven head with mysterious eyes."

"…yeah something like that." Naruto snarled annoyingly. "You know I got this funny feeling you planned this a long time ago."

Guilty face. Trying-to-not-look-guilty face. Annoyed glare.

"Fine. So where do we fine such guy?" Naruto sighed in defeat.

Shikamaru pointed a finger at a raven guy wearing a 'Konoha Auto-repair shop'. "Well that guy in that automobile repair shop looks like a good candidate to me."

**:Tsuzuku:**


	2. Searching

**Imitating Myself**

**By: Late-Sleeper**

**Beta-reader: ****Pay Backs a Bitch**

**Disclaimer: **I don't own a thing…or else Naruto would be rated NC-17

* * *

**Chapter 2: Searching**

* * *

A raven haired man stood beside an automobile, a sleek black lamborghini murcielago.

"Sasuke-san, don't lean on th…!"

"Shit!"

"Gomen! Gomen! Gomen!"

Sasuke glared at the black stain adorning his shirt. Well there goes his ten thousand Yen shirt. "Don't worry this doesn't cost that much, Hinata-san."

"No! I…I mean t-that w-we need to w-washed it off im-immediately, Sasuke-san. I-If you don't mi-mind you can we-wear this uniform for the time being." Hinata handed the raven haired man a polo shirt with the shop's name on the back and the name of the employee on the breast area. "Shino" Sasuke cocked an eyebrow as he mindlessly read the broidered name.

"Ah…t-that's n-new…we just g-got it delivered. Shino-san hasn't worn it yet." Sasuke shrugged as he took off his greased-stained shirt and handed it to a stuttering lady who took off as she got hold of the shirt. He quickly put on the uniform and patiently waited beside his newly tuned car.

A few minutes had passed and Sasuke was beginning to get bored looking and felt somewhat like an idiot standing around with nothing to do. He was about to take out his cell from his pocket when suddenly he heard a loud thud across the street at a tiny open house restaurant. It seemed like a trio of idiot guys were the source of the commotion.

He watched in curiosity as the three bird-brains had again another unexpected commotion which ended up in a cat fight with some karate moves on the side but was… unfortunately, stopped by the most sensible of the three or at least Sasuke thought he was.

He was really enthralled by what he was seeing…or more specifically whom he was seeing. His whole attention was concentrated to a tan blond that seemed to be the source of the chaos happening at the restaurant. He really looks like someone he knew… although with such distance he couldn't really tell.

He was suddenly snapped out of his stupor when suddenly the sensible one of the three pointed a finger at him. He almost felt embarrassed to be caught gawking…but the word is 'almost' since Uchihas never gawked…they are the one being gawked at. He smiled at that thought.

Really embarrassed, who would be? Sasuke almost grin at that thought…again the word is almost because his heart suddenly beat a lot faster than expected making some part of his body tingle and his belly tickle as he saw the blond he was gawki…I mean nonchalantly starring at was walking towards him.

He raised a brow to acknowledge the blond who's now mere inches to his personal space.

"Anou…you see…umm…ah…err."

Sasuke stared at the blond who was unconsciously tagging his shirt low and stuttering like a dumb idiot…err...okay scratch that, he was a dumb idiot.

"Wow very intelligible… moron."

A vein suddenly popped on Naruto's forehead as the bastard look down on him with cheeky grin. "What did you say asshole?!"

"I said 'very intelligible, moron.' Not only are you mentally incapacitated but your hearing needs special attention too."

Naruto almost gave the raven some ass kicking moves he saw on TV when he had the mistake of glancing at the restaurant where he was a few moments ago. Shit! Those moves would really look cool, giving the cocky bastard some ass whooping like Jackie Chan. Che! Damn Shika! The idea of him being here in front of the repair shop came crushing down on him like a bucket of ice. He tried hard to restrain himself and go on with the plan. "I'll let that drop, ass-wipe since I'm here to ask a favor."

Sasuke raised an eyebrow of what he was hearing. 'A favor…interesting.'

"Well actually I was going to ask you if you want a job. A really easy job with so many benefits."

"…and that would be?"

"I want you to impersonate someone."

Sasuke was interested. He was actually grinning madly inside…which by the way he doesn't want you to know.

"And this would benefit me how?"

"Well for starter I'd double what they pay you here. You can live in a condo with me…with your own bed of course…" Sasuke had to smile at the sudden tinge of pink on the blonde's face. "…you'll have new set of good clothes…you can have dinner at fine restaurants…"

"…and may I ask who I would be impersonating?"

"Uchiha Sasuke."

"…."

"…."

"…."

"What?! Are you in or not?!" Naruto growled out feeling mortified of what he was doing. He was really waiting to be laughed out. He must really look like a moron spouting all of that crap. Who would be stupid enough to agree with that…

"I'm in."

Err…well this guy would.

Naruto still baffled by the raven answered raised his hand for a hand shake. "Then see you again…ummm…." He read the name on the uniform. "…Shino-san."

The raven raised his hand and grasp the blond's hand and gave a mischievous grin. "Well, see you soon."

Naruto blushed…which he would later deny. "Yeah…umm here's my card. Call me if you really decided to do this."

Sasuke received the card with his left hand, while the right is still holding the blonde's hand. He raised the card to read and a playful smile painted his face. "Oh you bet I will…" He leaned more towards the blond. "Uzumaki Naruto."

Naruto freaked out at the sudden nearness of the guy he had just hired. Oh boy was he going to be dead. Or raped…which ever came first.

Naruto pulled out his hand and muttered a hurried goodbye and rushed out from the shop towards the restaurant then hurriedly dashed off dragging his two friends away god knows where, leaving Sasuke standing all alone looking like a lunatic with his grinning face…

Sasuke absent-mindedly took out his phone and punched the speed dial.

"Hello, Uch…."

"Kabuto, I'm taking a month vacation. Cancel all my meetings and move all events till I get back."

Beep.

"Finally found you, _**dobe**_."

**:Tsuzuku:**


	3. Remembering

**Imitating Myself**

**By: Late-Sleeper**

**Beta-reader: ****Pay Backs a Bitch**

**Disclaimer: **I don't own a thing…or else Naruto would be rated NC-17

* * *

**Chapter 3: Remembering**

* * *

Sasuke checked his watch for the fourth time since he had gotten to their meeting place. He mentally cursed the blond for being late. He was beginning to wonder if this was worth all the hassle of canceling his meetings with higher authorities, getting a fake ID with the name of Shino Aburame, getting a new wardrobe…really he was beginning to regret ever thinking…

"Hi. Sorry I'm late…my boss was being a bitch." Naruto leaned down to the sitting raven and smiled.

'Yeah he's worth every trouble.' Sasuke seductively smiled at the blond as he gestured to him to sit down. The blond pulled the chair and sat down. Naruto was quite uncomfortable with sitting in a tacky restaurant in a rundown ally with him wearing a suit and holding a brief case. He thought he looked like an old man looking for cheap fun with a male whore. He glanced at Sasuke for that…yeah he really does look like it.

Sasuke felt his companion's awkwardness and decided to soothe it by asking what he wanted to order. The blond snapped out of his stupor and looked at the shabby look menu and ordered a burger, fries and juice for himself while the raven ordered a hotdog and cola. The waitress wrote down their request and sauntered back to the counter.

Naruto was busy watching the woman's ass as she went to the counter for their orders when Sasuke suddenly snapped him from his spiritual fantasies of the woman's butt. "So what's the story?"

"Excuse me?"

"Dobe." Naruto was shocked. He can't believe that this guy called him a dobe when they just met yesterday. Well he did call him a moron on their first meeting…but that's not the point!

It's just that, it really reminded him of something…someone.

"Teme."

Yeah…really reminded him of something.

Sasuke smiled at the fuming blond who was trying to contain himself from jumping Sasuke, which by the way the raven head wouldn't mind. "I asked you while you were drooling at her ass, what's the story behind this…umm impersonation." Sasuke smirked at the blush coloring the dobe's cheeks.

"Well…to get back at a girl who dumped me." Naruto who was looking everywhere, except for Sasuke, answered through his teeth. He couldn't tell the cocky guy that it was a prank due to _rejection_. Nah uh. He might think he was pathetic or something.

"Why? Did _you_ cheat on her with another girl?"

"No the other way around."

"Uh? She cheated on you with another _girl_?" Sasuke smirked at the sudden twinkle in Naruto's eyes.

"No, but that would be hot." Naruto imagined Sakura in a girl on girl action with Ino which made him somewhat excited. Boys will be boys.

"Actually she likes someone…more specifically, she likes Uchiha Sasuke."

"The one I'm impersonating?"

"Yeah."

"I don't get it if she likes him, how could I…"

"She hasn't met him…again. We were classmate in elementary that is until the teme moved. We haven't seen him for ages. No contacts, no pictures, not even on TV or newspaper. I've heard that he was a big shot now in business…so Sakura kinda made up her mind that he's the one."

"Oh."

Sasuke thought for a moment and wondered who this Sakura was that Naruto was talking about. Really, there were so many fangirls he encountered in elementary that he couldn't really remember them…actually he couldn't remember most of his classmates…okay any of his classmates except Naruto, of course. Who the hell could remember their elementary classmate's faces, it was like thirteen years or so…everybody could have change their appearance one way or another. Hell, he didn't even recognize Naruto at first.

The dobe had grown so much, matured so much in such a very sexy way. Toned in every aspect of his body but still retaining that effeminate allure in him. His blue eyes seem to be brighter than he remembered in elementary. Yeah no longer a child. Could be manhandled in every possible way without being condemned of statutory rape. Sweet!

"So what do you think this Sasuke look like now?"

"Hmm…it's been such a long time. Maybe he changed that stupid hair style of his. That chicken butt hair…" Naruto pondered a bit and stared at Sasuke for a few seconds. "…like yours. What the hell! Do all bastards have this plan to have their hair look like a chicken butt?!"

"…"

"Sheesh! Just as they say, birds of same feather flock together. Chicken. Bok bok bok bookkk."

The blond danced on his seat like a chicken taunting the stoic Uchiha only to be glared at, and laughed at by the people around them.

"Real mature dobe. So what else?"

"Che! You know you do have the same personality."

Sasuke could only sweat drop at that comment. Really, Naruto was such an idiot…he was the one pointing the obvious similarities but still he's the one blinded by the reality. It seemed like Naruto had reach a new level of stupidity. Really, it brought tears to Sasuke's eyes.

"Well the teme might have gotten fatter, because men do gain weight when they reach twenty one…like those of females when they reach eighteen. Growth stops, fat accumulates."

Wow. That was informative, Sasuke never knew Naruto was that knowledgeable.

"That's according to Seventeen magazine."

Err…I take that back.

"Since he has nerdy, getting all high grades he must have a large rimmed glasses by now and receding hairline, due to stress of course. Since he doesn't like people much I bet he doesn't even know how to dress to please…or he could be covered with bruises and broken bones since he do pisses many people off."

Sasuke sighed at that. What the hell was Naruto thinking?!

* * *

After the duo finished their meal they decided to walk to a nearby park to talk more about their business at hand. "So what's this Sasuke like in elementary?"

Naruto glanced at his companion and gave a confused looked earning him an annoyed stare. "You do realize that I need to act like him, so I really need to know what he was like."

"Well, just as I said he was an ass. A dickhead. A scumbag."

Sasuke stopped on his track and snorted. "Well that was really informative dobe. What did he do to you to hate him so much?" Naruto also stopped with his walk and look at a distant horizon thinking. "Well, he used to call me names like…"

"Dobe."

"Yeah! Like Dobe. Wait you're like him Teme!" Naruto pointed an accusing finger at the raven head man while the other smirked at his funny antics. "What else?"

"Huh? Oh, yeah. He would often beat me up with his always perfect score. Nerdy! Girls always swooned over him because of that but he never glanced at them. He was such a prick to them. He never said a word except when he was arguing with me" Naruto chuckled a bit with that memory lane breaking his contemplative look as he was recalling his past. He was so busy trekking down memory lane that he hadn't even felt the raven approach until the said man touched his cheeks with his both hands to face him.

"Shino-san…" Naruto fidgeted a bit at the man's intense stare.

"Call me Sasuke. If I'm going to impersonate him, you should call me Sasuke for now on."

Naruto absentmindedly nodded as he kept staring at Shino a.k.a. Sasuke.

"Call my name."

"Sasuke."

**:Tsuzuku:**

**

* * *

**

**LateSleeper: **hugs and kisses and hentai Sasunaru videos to all those who reviewed. Thank you all. I'm so pumped up that I made this next chapter. Review, review so I could get more inspired. Whahahahahaha! Really thank you.

**LateSleeper:** Saa…just got out from my minor surgery yesterday. I was really feeling down and well hurt after the anesthesia worn down of course but your reviews made my day. YAY!


	4. Adjusting

**Imitating Myself**

**By: Late-Sleeper**

**Beta-reader: ****Pay Backs a Bitch**

**Disclaimer: **I don't own a thing…or else Naruto would be rated NC-17

* * *

**Chapter 4: Adjusting**

* * *

Naruto sipped his morning coffee as he tried to calm down his nerves. Waiting was such a drag to him especially when you were waiting for your death or the source of it. He patiently stood by the window peeking ever so often to check if his soon to be housemate had arrived. He sighed in exasperation. He still couldn't believe that he agreed to do this prank. He was such an idiot. He couldn't even comprehend the money he would be shelling out for this project of their so called revenge. To think he would even live with a total stranger, here in his own, precious home.

The only consolation he could get out of this was that seventy-five percent of the money would be coming from his friends, mainly Kiba since it was idea after all. Damn Dog breath.

The door bell ringing snapped Naruto from his thoughts and once again plunking him back into his dilemma. He slowly walked towards the door, trying to calm himself. Psyching himself that it was all for the better. He gingerly opened the door only to reveal the smiling man who he had just hired. A sudden quickening of pulse had Naruto on the edge as he led the man inside.

"Ah, Shino-sa…"

He earned a quirk of an eyebrow as he said the raven's name. "I mean Sasuke. Is that all you've got or are we expecting your other things later?"

"No, this is all I've got." Naruto blushed at the raven head's smile and the sultry voice he made. He felt the familiar quickening of his pulse like it did yesterday when Sasuke touched him. It was quite vexing actually to have your chest throb and your stomach flipping.

Naruto stared at Sasuke as the man walked towards the room in a steady confident stride, like he owned the place. He watched as the raven sat down in one of the chairs and grabbed the remote control to watch what was on TV. He watched as the raven's face broke into a small grin at whatever the host was saying on TV. He saw Sasuke's chest rise up and down as he was breathing. He ogled at Sasuke's well sculptured chest that was hugged nicely by his tight white wife beater. He could also see that the man also had nice legs as the tight jeans were hugging it. He was like a porn star, not bulky, just tone in perfect places.

'Shit! Am I turning gay?"

Naruto eyes went wide as he realizes his feelings for the raven. Was he falling in love? But wasn't it too soon? He wasn't gay right? No, it couldn't be!

The throbbing on his chest, the butterflies on his stomach, this is…

"Oi dobe put my things in my room and also prepare the bath. I want to bathe before eating."

…this was not love.

Not even a crush.

Not even a remote feeling of admiration…

This was the feeling of dread.

The feeling that your life was spiraling down to hell…that life was gonna be crap for the next few months or so…a feeling, that you just handed yourself to the devil himself.

This is the feeling of…

"Oi dobe, fix me a meal for a king and hurry up with that bath."

Armageddon.

* * *

"You're here too?" Kiba pulled his chair as he sat down near the lazy irritated genius waiting for their friend. "That baka just said 'meet me at Sakuragi's dinner now' then hung up."

"Same here."

"What do you think he wants?"

"Well we're soon gonna find out." Shikamaru cocked his head towards the approaching blond. Kiba looked over his shoulder and gaped at how the blond look like.

Blood shot eyes, slightly paling skin, chapped lips. Man was he like a walking zombie.

"What the hell happened to you?!"

"He…He's driving me insane." Naruto leaped towards Kiba and hugged him tight as he cried openly. Kiba was slightly freaking out.

"What did he do?" Shikamaru was slightly worried since it was their cute blond they were talking about here, but the blond did take things exaggeratedly.

"He made me clean our room. He even made me wash all the dishes…it was horrifying." Kiba rolled his eyes. He was somewhat miffed that he was actually feeling genuine concern for the blond. 'Damn that large puppy eyes!' But he just let Naruto stay in his position for all its worth.

"He made sure that I cleaned the house everyday! He even said that I should do laundry every week. He's…"

"Well Naruto welcome to the real world of human beings…glad you decided to leave Slob land." Kiba grinned at the blond who was still clutching his shirt like a baby. Naruto snorted at him and slightly pushed off the grinning man to properly sit on his own chair. "Jerk!"

"Is this all you wanted to say? You know I think it was a good thing we hired him. It's like a two-in-one thing. We could really use him to straighten you up." Shikamaru sighed and shook his head in exasperation.

"Whaa?! Shika."

"…"

"Okay fine. It was a little exaggerated…but he's using my clothes to. Isn't it a bit annoying?"

"Maybe the guy doesn't have enough clothes. Did you buy him clothes like you were supposed to?"

"Err. Well, still he shouldn't use my towel…"

"Che! Then buy him one."

"…and my toothbrush."

"Oh, that's so gross. It's like an indirect kiss." Kiba made a gross out face at the blond who now resembled a tomato. "Shut up dog breath."

"…"

"He's using everything I have. He's parading in my house like he owns it. Eating my food like he bought it. Soon, he'll be going to my work and working there. Or say stuff like 'Hey, I'm Naruto what's your name? And soon he'll be calling you guys up to meet like old friends and you would be strutting like girls while holding hands toward the end of the rainbow with him. Then I would be here, left alone by you two. You would then be asking me 'Who are you?'…then…"

Kiba grabbed both Naruto's hand and rubbed them soothingly. "There. There. Don't worry Naruto. You just need a _therapy_. Dr. Psycho would happy help you."

A jabbed from Naruto didn't even stop the erupting laughter inside Kiba. He was laughing out loud and banging his hand on the table which in turn made Shikamaru burst into suppressed chuckle. Naruto was all left pouting at the two idiots, suppressing tears to pour out. "Some friends I have."

This made Shikamaru stop chuckling and felt slightly guilty for making the blond pout. He was on the verge of reaching out to Naruto to hug him when the said blond was suddenly yanked by the dog man and hugged him for himself. "Sorry. Sorry."

Shikamaru was felt a tad bit jealous as he watched the circling motion of Kiba's hand on Naruto's back to soothe him. "So why don't you just blow him off?"

Naruto broke free from Kiba's clutches and grabbed onto Shikamaru, who by the way earned a small annoyed groan from Kiba. "But I already did! But he said he would spill out my entire plan to Sakura herself. The plan would be ruined before it even began!!"

"Smart guy."

"I'm going to die by his hands. I knew it, he's the devil! He's the prince of the underworld. I'm going to DIE!!" Naruto grabbed his hair with both hands and made a terrified look that Kiba and Shikamaru freaked out a bit.

"And you two are going down with me!! I'm going to haunt your fucking asses when I die. I'd gonna fuck up every night dream you have." Naruto gave a sinister laugh and made a menacing face to both his friends.

"I'm going to…."

RING.

RING.RING.

"NO!! The devil is calling me!"

**:Tsuzuku:**


	5. Living

**Imitating Myself**

**By: Late-Sleeper**

**Beta-reader: ****Pay Backs a Bitch**

**Disclaimer: **I don't own a thing…or else Naruto would be rated NC-17

* * *

**Chapter 5: Living**

* * *

A sharp pain from a fallen object woke Naruto into a jolt. He searched blindly for the offending object when he faintly heard a snicker, he didn't even have to turn to see who it was. "What did you do that for jerk?!"

"Well good morning to you to sleeping beauty. Did you dream about me? Because you were groaning _deliciously_ in your sleep. " Sasuke stretched out his sleepiness and grinned at the fuming blond on the other side of the room. Their beds were few feet apart, parallel each other.

"Yeah. I dreamt about you and me, _fucking_, intensely." 'Jerk! Now see if you can counter that.' Naruto grinned sinisterly as he took his blanket to cover himself once again so he could continue his beauty sleep and dream of his and Sakura's wedding.

"Well we know what they say. Dreams do come true." Naruto jerked up from his bed, face flushing with chagrin as he glared daggers at the beaming raven on the other side of the room.

"BASTARD." Naruto hurriedly plopped down on bed as he realized the other man's state of undress. Who the hell wore only boxer in their sleep? He pulled the blanket up to cover his burning face.

"Dobe, wake up. You are going to be fucking late. Get up and prepare food now!"

"Prepare your own food teme. What time is it anyway?"

"Five past eight."

Naruto was again jolted up from his bed and went to his drawer in agitation. "Why the hell didn't you wake me up sooner? Shit I'm going to be late."

The blond pulled some of his underwear and a towel and swiftly marched towards the bathroom to have a quick shower, leaving the raven man cuddling his pillow. After finishing his shower, Naruto brushed his teeth and checked himself on the mirror for some flaw on his face. When he saw none he went out of the bathroom only clad with towel on his hips and sauntered towards the bedroom

Naruto realized that Sasuke was no longer inside and gave a sigh of relief to once again have his personal space as he dressed. The raven presence really gave him straining emotions. 'He must be making breakfast for _himself_.'

Naruto in a hurried motion put on a pair of slacks and a shirt under a business suit. He also went towards his brief case to check for his things and then went out of the room.

"Oi dobe! Where do you think you're going?" Sasuke shouted from inside the kitchen.

"I'm going to be late so zip it Uchiha."

"Dobe you're not going out without breakfast. Here." Naruto stopped on his track as a sandwich was pushed to his hand. He looked down on his supposed breakfast and then looked up and smiled back at Sasuke.

"Thanks."

* * *

Naruto eyed the source of his disdain warily. He felt his pulse quickened at every sudden movement of the said creature. A sweat broke on his forehead as said nuisance looked towards his way, mocking him. Feeding on his fears, bathing in the glory that he made the magnificent Naruto shivered with fear.

The blond made a fighting stance ready for the said attack, psyching himself that he could somehow defend himself. His eyes darted toward the nearby pillow and made a duck towards it. He held it like it was a shield, weapon if the situation requires but the beast was not intimidated, he looked back at Naruto with defiance, and made a small movement indicating he was not afraid at the very least.

"Why are you looking like your seeing a ghost?" Naruto made a hurried glanced at his companion trying not to get distracted too much. Distraction could be fatal. His enemy should not be underestimated. He must not be sidetracked; he must be focused on the enemy, not even if Sasuke was staring at him as if he was on high or something. Nothing should deter him.

Yes, you've got it right.

Sasuke was not his source of his scorn. Hard to admit but the raven was even such a darling to cook him some food when he got home.

His new foe was more sinister.

More inhumane…

Cold-blooded…if ever there was still blood left in it's vein.

Fucking hard to kill…

Down right dirty…

"Dobe, it's just a fucking cockroach." Sasuke sighed in exasperation as restraining himself on hitting the blond on the head.

Naruto shot a glare at his raven head companion with contempt, this move was all the insect needed to make his move. The pest flew towards the quarreling couple, passing them and landing on the wall opposite the sofa the two were sitting. This stunt set off a loud shrill courtesy of the blond idiot who was now swatting his pillow in all direction, still shrieking to all its worth. This only made the insect fly again with glee. Irritating humans was so much amusing but making them jump up and down with fright was down right hilarious. And the blond man takes the cake.

He was so evil. He knew it from the bottom of his tiny insect heart.

He was chuckling loudly to himself when he felt an object barely hitting his head. He looked down and saw a smirking raven who was again aiming his other slipper at him. 'Che! So the blond's boyfriend has got guts.'

He took the challenge and soared towards the weaker one, Naruto. A loud shriek and swatting caught him off guard. He was hit by the hysterical blond and was spiraling down, but before he hit the ground a sinister grin broke of his face. "THERE'S FUCKING MORE OF THEM!!"

Another roach flew from wall to wall like a fighter jet, taking revenge on the lowly humans who killed his little brother. The blond who hit his brother was screeching like hell and he felt the tingling sensation of how his power could fuck up such a man. He chuckled a bit as other of his siblings came in for the fun.

Sasuke was awed at the number of cockroaches that lived inside their house. Really, this was his first time seeing such phenomenon. He was also impressed how such tiny creatures could ducked his every swatting attempt but still coming for more, taunting him. He couldn't believe it, they were like ninjas. One second you see them then poof they're gone if you get a bit distracted. Naruto was right; never underestimate the creatures of the dirt.

Sasuke hit another roach with vigor. A total of three roaches killed for him and two for Naruto, so all in all they had killed five freaking cockroaches. "Dobe! I told you to clean the house. This wouldn't have happened if you just cleaned this so called home!!"

Naruto, who was still trembling, could only nod his head as he sat down again on his sofa, too exhausted and still frightened to his wits to argue at the hurtful insult. He rested his head back on the sofa and breathed deeply to calm his nerve.

He jerked when he felt something brushing him, his heart was again somersaulting. He looked at his right and was relieved to see that it was just an earphone of an MP3 that the raven was putting on his ears. "Come closer." He heard him say and he did without qualm. The music was soothing and soon he was feeling quite drowsy. He felt a hand on his head tilting his head towards the raven's shoulder. He didn't protest and just rested his head to the very comforting shoulder. The hand never left his head and was now slowly brushing his hair making him feel sleepier. Soon he was sleeping like a cradled child.

So protected…

Very comfy…

"Don't drool on me, dobe."

'I love you'

**:Tsuzuku:**

* * *

Author's nonsense ranting:

**Late-Sleeper:** Well I went last time to an anime event (at SMX) and I was quite sadden, no it's not because of the event per se but…there were no YAOI!! Well there are some doing yaoi but…they are females wearing male clothes. So they may be doing yaoi and all but I still know for a fact that they are girls, with boobs and all…it's like yuri!! Yeah I personally don't like yuri. Saaa…no it's not the cosplayers fault actually…there are getting fewer and fewer boys doing yaoi. That's why I'm quite determine to force our friends (both are physically male…err…yeah physically) to once again cosplay gravitation. They're the Yuki and Shu last last year at UPAME. So yeah I'm going to force them, by hook or by crook! Are you with me?! whahahaha

kyothefallenkit: Thanks for reviewing.

Nanachan87: Yay! I've updated…hehehe gomen it's kinda late…but see I was really depressed and all. Saa…

Mochiusagi: Saa…I'm a messy person too. So yeah I kinda felt Naruto's sentiment rubs Naruto's head poor naru-chan

Kai: Saa…watergun…hmm…likie the idea!! Yay!

TannerUzumaki: whaaa sorry late update. Hope you like it.

Deadanimals: yeah, my arm still hurting…is it normal? Well I'm going to my doctor today for recheck up. I'm soooo scared…well hope you like this update.

Cluelessninja65: saa…I'm a Naruto-uke whore... but sadly shika and kiba wouldn't be romantically involve with naruto...and it pains me so. sob

Drarythoughts: err…yeah Naruto is still clueless…or an idiot. Poor blond.

I-love-u-a-lot: whaaaaaaaaaaa sorry . gomen gomen. Gomen. Late update. Gomen. I love your PM so much.

Extli: I hope you would still find this chap funny…arghh…I kinda suck at humor…I'm really an angst writer

…so yeah writing humor drains the life out of me so **please review**…it gives me strength…really.


	6. Buying

**Imitating Myself**

**By: Late-Sleeper**

**Disclaimer: **I don't own a thing…or else Naruto would be rated NC-17

**Status:** in the middle of a **huge writers block**. NOT Beta-read!

* * *

**Chapter 6: Buying**

* * *

The mall was jam-packed as usual since it was a weekend and people just got their salary a day before it. Tough luck.

Sasuke is not particularly a fan of shopping especially with a throng of people, wait, scratched that. Sasuke hate shopping and people period.

But, what is he to do when a puppy dog eye courtesy of the blond beg him to go? The blond argued that he needed a business suits to be able to impersonate the 'Uchiha Sasuke'. He counter argued that he could borrow some suit from his other friends or relative, beside a business suit could give a large dent on the poor blond average salary.

Sasuke recalled Naruto laughing hysterically at that comment with a mischievous glint on his eyes that made Sasuke shivered a bit nervously. "Oh don't worry I'm not spending my own money. I'm using Kiba's card for these. Therefore, we can buy all the suits we want. The most expensive the better." Another devious laughter ensued after that.

Sasuke again felt the shivers run down his spine as he recalled their earlier conversation.

He looked from side to side, glaring at people gawking at him. A soft hand suddenly jolted him off his reverie. He glanced down at his left hand and saw that the blond clasped it and tug him to a nearby boutique on which he obeyed obediently with a smile.

The blond didn't realized that they were still holding hands when they entered the store until the sales lady looked at them with curiosity and slight disappointment. Seeing the way the disheartened sales lady looked at their still joined hands, Naruto rapidly pulled his hands away from Sasuke earning a small growl from the raven.

"Erm…we want to try a suit. Please."

"Ah yes. For the both of you?"

"Nope. Only for this bastard."

"…err…yeah come this way."

Sasuke nonchalantly followed the woman as the later showed him different style and color of the suits they were selling. He was getting a bit annoyed at the woman non-subtle form of flirtation. She was asking personal question in between her sale tactics which Sasuke thought was very unprofessional.

He was getting too annoyed that he was on the point of telling the woman that he was gay and his boyfriend is the blond, just for the hell of seeing the woman dropped dead with disappointment. Really, he was really weighing the option of being punch by an enraged homicidal blond or the insistent flirting of the woman before him. The former option was actually winning by ten points.

"Do you always do that? Do you really think you're a fucking god's gift to women?" Naruto sneered at him stopping his thoughts on one hundred ways to escape the law after killing a woman in pure glee.

Sasuke stared at the now fuming blond. "…I'm not?" He smirked at the heated glare the blond gave him for his come-back.

"God, I'm speechless." Naruto was really dead-on appalled at how this person is so in love with himself. True he was indeed good looking and…yeah with a fucking hot body, but it doesn't mean that he could treat a nice girl badly, a girl who was only making small talk to sell. He hated people like that. Arrogant…narcissistic.

"Don't worry I do that to people. It's such a curse actually."

"I…I don't know what to else to think of you."

"You could always find ways to think of me…sometimes I'm up all night just thinking of myself too." Sasuke sauntered away to fit the suits he picked before the blond could retort, chuckling a bit at how he put the blond riled out. He always wonder why the blond think he was an air-head or something when in reality he wasn't even doing anything but seeing how fired up the blond looks whenever he do this things make it worth the trouble.

* * *

Sasuke walked out of the dressing room and paraded in front of Naruto like a model, every time he does drools could be seen dripping off the sales lady's mouth and a gruff 'bastard', 'air-head', 'show-off' could be heard from a certain seething blond.

If not for the sales lady he could have done something more…like doing a sexy seductive pose for the blond. It would really make the blond squirm with discomfort…that would make his day.

Naruto on the other hand was battling with his self, he was scolding himself not to blush whenever the raven walk out from the dressing room looking like a model for men's perfume. Really, what man would strut like a runway model in front of another MAN?! What would the other customer think of them? Sasuke really has no shame.

"Dobe, did you just fall for me?"

"Bastard. Who would fall for a chicken-head like you?"

"Then, stop drooling. It's gross."

Naruto shyly wiped a drool at the side of his lips with the back his hand. A tinge of pink colored his cheeks as he realized that he was indeed drooling. Talk about total embarrassment. "Come on, bastard. Pick the ones you like so we could pay. We still have to meet my friends."

Sasuke looked at the hand that caught his left hand as the blond drag him towards the cashier to pay. He was getting used to the way the blond taking his hand, even if it means that he'd be drag off like a loss child. He really liked the warmth the blond is emitting. Like the warmth he felt whenever the blond drag him off when they were just kids.

He really missed those times. It was the only memories he cherish when he was a kid.

* * *

Shikamaru stared at the two figures, who were arguing loudly while they were holding hands. It kinda reminded him of his parents. "You're late Naruto."

Kiba looked over his shoulder, he was about to give his friend a smile but was caught half way as he glanced at their joined hands. His brows furrowed unconsciously at that. "Hey, Naruto why don't you introduce as to your _new friend_." The blond instantly let go of the raven's hand to introduce the person beside him. 'That did the trick eh.'

"Well, this is Shi…" "Uchiha Sasuke" Naruto gave a puzzled look at the raven but with the raven determined glanced realization hit the blond full force. "They're my friends, bastard. They're the one who thought this whole plan."

"Dobe, the less people who knows my name the better."

"Bastard, are you implying that my friends would…"

"It's alright Naruto, the _'Uchiha'_ is right. The less we know, the less we will have mistake." Shikamaru assessed the raven guy from head to foot. "We are meeting here so we could assess what are other things that _you_ need or lack."

The pineapple head was direct to the point, no beating behind the bush nor flowerly bull-shit. Sasuke liked men like that. Not romantically of course, perverts. He would really consider hiring him when this is over.

"My name is Nara Shikamaru by the way. I'm going to teach you politics and business and this sulking nobody is Inuzuka Kiba" Pointing to a moping brunette. "…he might not look like it but he comes from a high class society family. His clan has been breeding dogs for export here and abroad. He will be teaching you the life of the rich and famous… I hope." Kiba glared at his friend but said nothing.

"And I will be the one teaching you some social skill." Naruto grinned at Sasuke. "Dobe, your social skill is no better than a chimpanzee on the loose."

"Bastard! Your social skill sucks!"

"Says the dobe who was dump."

"Bastard."

"Dobe."

"ENOUGH!!"

The two bickering couple shut their mouth with fear as the man name Shikamaru fumed and mumbled in eerie husk of ways to murder them if the two won't hush. Sasuke decided then and there that Nara was a scary person to cross. He certain that he had better be on his good side if he want to live and be on his merry way.

"Err…as I was saying a while ago. Teme you suck at dealing with people." Naruto gave a sideway glance to check the fuming genius, seeing that he was calm enough he got the courage to continue. "How can you talk to a Sakura when all you do is spout shit and all."

"Not true. I can talk to Sakura or any girl for that matter just fine."

"Then talk."

Naruto glared at the impassive raven urging him to speak like the bastard brag he could. He glared intensely at his silent companion. Glared like he never glared before.

Tic.

Tac.

Tic.

Tac.

His eyes are beginning to twitch in protest at the one sided glaring contest, but still he glared just for the hell of it.

Tic.

Tac.

Tic.

"There's no girl here dobe."

"WHATTTT THEE HELLLLL?!"

"I said…"

"Maa maa maa. Naruto we'll settle this tomorrow. Jan e! Come on Kiba." Kiba who had no important role, or any role at all in this special episode followed the calculating genius like a loss puppy.

"Quit sulking Kiba. You know that Naruto is really touchy with his friends." Shikamru glanced back on his now pouting companion then to the still bickering couple from afar. "…but it seems like something is off."

"…"

"He's too good to be true. Perfect skin, perfect teeth, good looks…."

He glanced back at Kiba who was now sporting a very shocked look. "Oh my god, your turning gay Shika."

"Ahou." 'che how troublesome.'

**

* * *

**

:Tsuzuku:

**LateSleeper:** I'm in the middle of writers block. So please do send any comment, suggestion, review, rant, rave, flames heck you can even give me your love story or an entry to your diary…just get me out of this dump. Please…review…I want to get out of this writers block…..Anything form of writing is highly appreciated.


	7. Learning

**Imitating Myself**

**By: Late-Sleeper**

**Disclaimer: **I don't own a thing…or else Naruto would be rated NC-17

* * *

**Chapter 7: Learning**

* * *

Ding.

Dong.

"Sasuke, could you get that. I'm still showering."

Sasuke grunted putting his newspaper down on the coffee table and proceeded to open the door to welcome the unwanted guest. He was not surprised when he found a impassive Shikamaru at the door.

"Come in. Naruto is still showering."

Shikamaru followed a still mumbling raven inside the cozy condo and made himself comfortable in a leather couch opposite the Uchiha. He was glad that Naruto was no where the hearing range since he has an agenda that he wanted to clear once and for all at the glowering raven.

"I went to Ino yesterday."

"…"

"You might not remember her, but she's one of your fangirls."

Shikamaru watched any tale-tale sign of any form of shock from his silent companion. If there is any the raven sure did a good job hiding it. His face was still impassive and detach. Was he wrong in his assumption about the true character of the person in front of him? Can't be. He was 96 sure that the person in front of him was the same person he just saw in a photo when he visited Ino.

"Quit the act Uchiha. I know you're the real deal. I saw a photo of your elementary days yesterday. You didn't even change the slightest bit. Though I wonder how the hell Naruto didn't recognize you when you were his be…" Shikamaru sighed and shook his head as a sudden realization hit him. "…well Naruto is really an idiot and dense sometimes."

"…"

"Still not talking. I gave it to you Uchiha to have such balls to still look unaffected…"

"What do you want to do now?"

That ticked Shikamaru a bit but he was a patient man, well okay he was really lazy to brawl. "Why are you here? Why didn't you tell Naruto you are 'him'?"

"I'm here to help in a prank. Am I not?"

"That's not what I was saying Uchiha. Why the pretense?"

"I'm going to tell him…but not now. It's too early for that…I…we, still need to sort things."

Shikamaru eyed Sasuke warily, he didn't know why but the raven's words or maybe it was his tone pacified any doubts in him. He just wish that Naruto wouldn't be hurt in the end. "Just don't hurt him." 'Again.'

"Hey, Shika! You're early." Naruto brushed his still damp hair with his fingers at his directing his grin to his newly arrived visitor.

"Che how troublesome. Here." A bag was thrown towards the still grinning blond who caught with perfect accuracy. "What's this?"

"I can't find a girl for Sasuke to practice to. Rumor might spread before we even begin our plan, so you have to do for the mean time. Gambatte."

"What do you m…?" Naruto hurriedly fished for the content of the bag and was horrified to pulled a pair of blouse and skirt. "Oh, hell no!!"

"Ja ne."

"Bastard, get back here." Naruto wave both his hands in agitation as he ran towards a sprinting Shikamaru but the bastard was already outside the door after a loud click of the door.

Sasuke who was still baffled at their previous conversation sighed loudly when the irritated blond begun shouting all profanities at the top of his voice shaming even the people of hell. "I knew this wasn't going to work."

Naruto spun hurriedly towards the sighing raven and put his death glare into maximum power. "What the hell did you say bastard?"

"I said this wasn't going to work." Sasuke shook his head dismally and sighed again. "You won't even look like a girl even if you wear girls clothes."

"WHAT THE HELL BASTARD?!"

"You will look like a laughing stock."

Naruto cocked his fist in anger but refrain himself for inflicting a serious damage to the raven's face. Yes, he was really on the verge of doing a homicide this very moment but he still had his pride. "You're on bastard. Be ready to ogle me."

With that, Naruto sped towards their room carrying Shikamaru's goodies and hurriedly change. Curses were then heard inside the room as the blond badmouthed the poor designer of the skirt for making it too short for his liking. He glanced over his shoulder to look at his back. Well at least his back looks nice. He smirked at that. He wasn't teased and molested like hell in college for having a cute butt for nothing. Now for the blouse and…

"Damn, how do you put this fucking hair clip?"

Sasuke waited for the blond to emerged and was concocting different kind of insult he would throw to the blond when the blond showed himself. He was grinning ear to ear as he perfected his insulting monologue for the blond. He was eager to see the blond fuming face but to his shock, his happiness was short lived when the blond finally showed up in drag.

"So what do you have to say now bastard? Whahahaha." Naruto posed like a superhero as he pointed a finger at the raven. He was actually readying himself for the swarm of insult to be thrown at him by the raven but the insults never came. The raven was only staring back at him in shock.

"…"

"…"

"…"

"Oi, oi bastard say something." He was slightly blushing now at the heavy scrutiny Sasuke was giving him. Well, at least the raven wasn't throwing up or something, just in mental break down. "Oi. Oi."

Naruto move towards the raven, cursing the skirt for bouncing slightly with each step he took. He also really felt cool down there too which irk him the most. He wondered how girls move in this short skirt without showing the world their whole self. He now felt a sudden surge of respect to all the girls.

"Oi bastard. Say something."

Sasuke was in the verge of mental melt down as the blond sauntered towards him. What the blond haven't realize that he was walking in cat like manner as he tried hard to keep the skirt from rising up making a tinge of pink show on Sasuke's cheek as he painfully watched all of those things happening in front of him.

"Oi…"

"Your cute."

Naruto stopped on his track and his jaw dropped at the raven sudden confession. He was not prepared at that statement of praise especially coming from the most bastard person ever walked on earth. What would he say to that? Thank you, I do try to make myself pretty for you.

Inside, Naruto was panicking. His tiny brain was now working in full force. Sasuke on the other hand has now recovered from his fatal mistake and was now conditioning his old self not to blush and ogle.

"Dobe, are we going to continue or what?"

Naruto brain stopped panicking to process Sasuke's words. "Oh, you were just practicing."

"Surely dobe. What? You think I'd compliment you? You want me to say you're beautiful for real."

"What? No, of course not. This is… this is just practice. Ne?" Naruto still feeling jittery from Sasuke 'fake' compliment sat himself near the raven. "Well, do you really think I'm pretty Sasuke?"

Sasuke almost blush when Naruto winked at him seductively. The blond is sure is going in character now, well two could play that game. "Yes, you are very pretty Naruto." He touched Naruto's cheek soothingly with his fingers.

Naruto felt shivers run down his spine when Sasuke touched him. He prayed hard to god that he wasn't blushing.

A soft smile broke on Sasuke face. "Dobe, don't fall for me _yet_. We're just practicing." His smile turned to leer.

Inside, Naruto whack himself on the head for not listening to the warning bells. He can't believe he fell for that. Sasuke was the devil, why can't he remember that? He was here to make him suffer for the next thirty years.

"Bastard. Don't say hurtful things like that to little 'ol me." He leaned towards the raven and flutter his lashes at him which made the raven gulped for air. Yes, a win for him. Take that bastard.

"Oh, I'm sorry. It's very rude of me. Please accept my apology." Sasuke smirked and clutched Naruto's hand and raised it to his lips. Naruto's eyes widen as Sasuke kissed his hand.

'Oh, your going down teme.' Naruto laughed maniacally inside as he leaned towards Sasuke as he touched his chest with other hand. "I'll only accept your apology if you give me something in return."

Sasuke was grinning from ear to ear. He knew what Naruto was planning and he will not lose to the idiot, pride be damn. "Anything." He brushed his hand through Naruto's blond hair and felt the blond shivers from his touch. Yes, his point. See if the blond can win that.

Naruto gritted his teeth at the grin Sasuke was giving him. The bastard knew he was winning, but Naruto was a steadfast opponent. He'll win no matter what. He leaned on the raven's right ear and whispered huskily "Kiss me." '_take that you bastard._'

Naruto was doing a victory dance inside. It's only be a second till Sasuke freak out. What he didn't realize that a smirk was forming on Sasuke's lips as he was pulling away. He was preoccupied that he didn't realize that the raven leaned towards him too. Their noses merely touching. "You really want me to kiss you?"

Naruto felt Sasuke's breath mixing with his as he hyperventilates. Their lips nearly touching and it seems like Sasuke would not back down even if it means kissing him for real. Shit!

"…"

"…"

A loud cracking was heard signaling Naruto's resolve cracking. His mind was melting rapidly. A white flag was then raise to admit defeat.

"W-wha…whattt…n-no. BASTARD."

Sasuke smirked as Naruto pushed him off and run off towards the door while mumbling 'ineedtoseeShikamaru' over and over not realizing he was still running with a skirt and blouse.

Sasuke: one point. Naruto: zero.

**

* * *

**

:Tsuzuku:

**Dragonmanga:** Yay! That would be an idea…but who would it be Sasuke would be jelous of?..hmm…hehehe. Well, anyway. Yep it was only in the mind when it was said I love you…but are you sure it's Sasuke?...tada….dum dum dum…hehehe joking it is him.

**Akatsukigirl40:** thanks for the encouragement! Yay! I'mback.

**Mochiusagi:** thanks for the review…saa…only Shika really knows what's going on…

**Sasunaru92:** thanks for the review hope you enjoyed this chap…

**Unnur:** Well…Naruto's teaching went well don't yah think.

**Colorsover: **of course they will find out…somehow….I hope.

**Random19:** arghh, writers block is a bitch…hope yours would go away too.

**Skyinthenightslove:** I still won't tell you which guess you got correct…hehehe huggles

**Tangent Obsession:** Saa…seems like many dislike cockroaches here…hehehe the funny thing is it really did happen. I really cursed our house for having a very large window with no glass for it. lesson learned: always closed the window to prevent onslaught of roaches on rainy days.

**Kai:** thanks for the review. Saa…so now you could say Shika really is a genius after all.

**i-love-u-alot:** well see. Well see. Hehehe

**cluelessninja65:** I like a jelous kiba too.

**Realityfling18:** glad I made you laugh. Thanks for the review.

**Nanachan87:** I love a clueless Naruto…he's kawaii like that.

Review!! Review!! The more reviews I get…the faster I'll update. Seriously. Herherherher


	8. Regrouping

**Imitating Myself**

**By: Late-Sleeper**

**Disclaimer: **I don't own a thing…or else Naruto would be rated NC-17

* * *

**Chapter 8: Regrouping**

* * *

Shikamaru swear he just heard Naruto scream his name but as he look at his back no one was there, except for a scruffy looking blond girl who was sporting a very short hair and has big blu…shit. "Naruto?"

The disheveled looking blond stopped on his track and caught his breath. Running fifty miles with a speed of a horse was really, exhausting, especially when you're wearing a tight blouse although the skirt, he must admit was pretty cool. It made Naruto really…free down there. Well, that's not the point.

"I…I…shit…I n-nee…need to t-talk…ha…ha…talk to you…ha…" Clutching his chest with his left hand he reached for Shikamaru with the other. The lazy boy raised a brow but proceeded towards his err…girly looking friend.

"Why the hell are you in drag?"

Naruto shot him a glare but didn't pounced on him like Shikamaru expected the blond to, with that anger the blond was emitting. The blond must be dead tired if it didn't pounced and rip him apart with that glare the blond was giving him. He must have done something bad. "Bastard, you gave me this. Don't act innocent on me, lazy-ass."

"But I didn't expect you to walk around town wearing it. It was for practice purposes only, stupid." Shikamaru sometimes wonder Naruto's sanity. Did their professor did the right thing, letting a dofus like Naruto even graduate college…far more high school?

"Well…it's bec…well…"

"What?"

"Because it is."

"What the hell is that reasoning." Shikamaru shook his head. "You know what I don't care what your reason is, come on let go somewhere private."

The so-called genius grabbed the blond's hand and drag him towards a shabby looking restaurant. At least there, no one who they know would go. He spotted a two-sitter at the back and he hurriedly yanked the protesting blond there.

A waiter walked towards them to take orders. The lady was really quite a looker that Naruto was sidetrack on how big her boobs were. "What do you need sweetie?" The girl winked at Shikamaru and purposely leaned towards him a bit to show her stuff at him. The genius, however, only grunted at that. Naruto on the other hand was getting slightly excited. "I'll take a chocolate sundae and a hot _you_ on top."

The lady glanced at the grinning blond girl and snorted. "I don't do _girl on girl_." She rolled her eyes. "If that's all, I'll take my leave."

The blond jaw dropped at that, while Shikamaru cheekily snickered. "Bastard."

"Seriously Naruto why did you run after me?"

"Oh. Ah…you see…" Naruto face suddenly blushed up and he twiddled with his skirt a bit like a schoolgirl confessing her love. Shikamaru find that very amusing. "You see…I…well…."

"Spit it out."

"I think Sasuke is gay."

Shikamaru smirked. "And why would you think that?"

"Well…well he said I was cute…and he tried to kiss me."

"Oh."

"What do you mean 'oh'. Hey, my chastity is at stake here and all you could say is 'oh'." Naruto fumed and almost leaped on his seat to strangle the slightly bored Shikamaru.

"Weren't you practicing when he did that?" Naruto calmed a bit at that and pondered a bit for an answer. "Well, yeah."

"So Naruto. He didn't mean it like that."

"Oh. Your right…"

"…"

"But he said I was cute…"

A loud sighed broke off Shikamaru's lips. "Troublesome. Naruto, even if he said that with that meaning…it wouldn't mean he's gay."

"What?!"

"I'm sorry to break this to you, but, Naruto you don't look manly as you would like it to be…" Shikamaru laid his elbow on the table. He has a feeling it would be a long conversation. "I'm only saying this _once_…Naruto, you are _cute_. Even I could imagine you in girls gown and all and not be called queer…because you look like a girl if you wore a girl's clothes. That dress…" pointing to Naruto's skirt and blouse. "…only enhanced your…err…well cuteness."

Mentally Naruto was shrieking, no not like a girl…well more of a manly shriek, like a marine man shrieking. Well, anyway he was shrieking manly on what he just heard. Who wouldn't? When all along you thought you were masculine enough when in reality you were look upon as a girly man. No it can't be…NOOOO

"Naruto! Naruto!"

A slight slap woke Naruto from his trance and touching his burning cheek he swore the lazy ass was going to get it today. There was hell to pay. "Bastard, why did you do that?"

"Che. Cause you were spacing out. As I was saying, don't worry your not girly at all. Well…" Shikamaru sighed and shook his head as he seek for a right term he could say to the blond. "…just cute. Well you might say you're asexual. You could go both ways."

What the hell?! Now he's a what? A-asex? What the hell was that? Both ways? Is that why many guy freaks pinch his bum every now and then, or women pinching his cheeks and cooing at him. Is that it? Did Sakura think he was prettier than her so…Because he was…

"Is it because of the hair? Or my eyes?"

Shikamaru sighed and look at Naruto's eyes. The big blue eyes looking at him in anticipation. His gaze then lowered to his pouting lips. "I could lie to you and say _no_ but, it is. You have a fucking big blue eyes Naruto and a blond hair that enhanced it…and you have that…well pouting pink lips."

"I do not pout."

"Whatever. The point is you look like Teppei Koike1…well the blond version of him anyway."

"What?! Hey, Shika are you watching again those Jdorama? You know your getting mushy with that."

"Says the man who look good in drag."

"Fuck you." Naruto gritted his teeth and snarl at his sighing companion. "That's it I'm dyeing my hair black and I'm going to wear black contacts, and you know what I'll even shave my brow like Gaara."

"Che troublesome. Naruto sorry to burst your bubble but you do have a cute _big eyes_…like a puppy. You can't change that." A sighed escaped his lips. He still wonders why he ever did befriended the blond. The blond was too troublesome to deal with. "Beside…girls dig that kind of look. Kinda, wanting to cuddle and pet you or something. Cheer up."

"How can I cheer up when you just told me I look like a girl then, now a puppy?"

"Troublesome. Fine Naruto, you do not look like a girl. Well, at least from here…" Shikamaru pointed to his neck and downwards"…down." Naruto's blouse was hugging him in right places. His shoulder was broad like a man should, his chest tone but not reaping with muscle…well just tone…like his arms...tone. It will really look freaky if the blond had suddenly build up muscle like a wrestle or some buff. That would be…err…grotesque. Think Baki the grapple2. Shikamaru slightly shivered at that notion.

So yeah, even with a girl's blouse Naruto was indeed a man. Although with the right size and sleeves, it could really hide all of that. Shikamaru snickered at that.

Well, at least Naruto's waist wasn't slim like that of a girl. 'Thank god' for that. It would be too troublesome not to kill rapist when every gay-seme would look Naruto's way and would want some giddy time with him. His butt was already too much distraction. Although seeing Gaara perform genocide would be a good plot for a story if he or Kiba would decide to pursue writing, well, that is if Gaara spare them too.

Shikamaru eyed Naruto from head to toe, and smirked as he eyed how the blond was sitting. He has his legs apart as though he wasn't wearing a skirt and was showing the whole world or at least Shikamaru that he was wearing a silk black boxer. Though he never remember the blond having that color before. Hmmm…Anyway, the blond thigh was lean too…not like those of a girl. His knees however fortunately, or in Naruto's case, unfortunately not knobby like those of the male population so if you just lengthen the skirt a bit and hide his tone thigh, yeah Naruto could pass as a girl…well a tomboy girl…or a muscular girl…or an athlete female, but not girly that's for sure.

Although. "Naruto…"

"What?"

"…do you shave your legs?"

Naruto glared at Shikamaru with so much malice the devil would be proud of him. "LAZY ASS, What do you mean by that?"

"hmm…wax it perhaps?" Shikamaru tapped his chin thinking. "Bastard, this…" Naruto pointed to his almost hairless legs. "…are natural. If you have curly fur down your legs doesn't mean every man should have one."

"Well, most of the guys do, Naruto."

"Well, Sasuke and I don't."

Shikamaru only snickered and wondered if the Uchiha ever waxed his legs, or is it natural like Naruto's. On the other side of town a loud sneeze could be heard.

Naruto crossed his arm over his chest and pouted as manly as he could. He was pondering why can't he be like the rest of the boys. Why can't he be like Sasuke. He has a delicate face but still he can't be called effeminate or cute…well he is cute but in a manly way unlike him. Why?! Why?

As if reading his thought Shikamaru sighed. "And the Uchiha can't be associated with cute mainly because he has this mysterious aura in him that girls really enjoy. You on the other hand would never achieve that. Even if you act all emo on me or what…you're sunshine, he's well, night time. So don't compare."

"What about Kiba?"

"Well, Kiba would be a wild wolf while you on the other hand would be a domesticated pet. Even if you act like him you would still look delicate enough to eat." This was getting too long for Shikamaru's liking. He was really on the verge of finally doing some work for the community by killing off the blond but he refrain for doing so. Barely I might add. Really, he was itching to strangle the blond with his bare hand if only it could be less messy. It would be a bitch to hide a crime scene or clean it.

"and you?"

Shikamaru sighed again, thinking it was really a getting to be nice idea to kill the blond. "Same as Sasuke's explanation."

"Liar." That ticked Shikamaru off.

All was heard was a loud thud and an earsplitting scuffle was heard thus ending the once quiet day in Konoha district.

**

* * *

**

:Tsuzuku:

1 **Teppei Koike** is a Japanese actor. I made a picture of him resembling Naruto on my lj…link is in my profile.

2 Baki the grappler is an anime about grappling. Most characters are very masculine, to the point you kinda freak out by it and no, I do not have a picture of it…never will. Google it or something.

**Stoic-Genius:** Yep, the word again was indeed mentioned by Shika…he was referring to Naruto's past experienced with Sasuke when they were kids.

**I-love-u-a lot: **Saa…sometimes I do wonder if Shika is a friend or a person who amused himself seeing Naru-chan in err…humiliation. Thanks for the review.

**Mochiusagi:** Yay! A fellow yaoi fan who wants Naruto in drag. Cheers!

**Mickey8701: **err…I've updated. Hehehe you know threats really are mush easier to make authors update…hmmm must threaten other authors to update their fic. (shouting in a distant) Hey you authors update your fics so I can read them, roar!!

**Kai:** Saa…you've read my mind girl. I always wonder what would Naruto be like in a skirt…but thankfully there is hanakimi (jdorama)…so yeah I patterned how Naruto would look like in drag in HanaKimi when Ikuta Toma and the rest where so pretty in drag but still has very err…manly physique. Still very pretty…

**Sasunaru92:** err…that would be a while…

**Cluelessninja65:** Saa… I wanted him to meet Sai but unfortunately Sasuke deleted that scene in my computer and threatened me with Lee's porn video…whaaaaaaa

**Drarythoughts:** don't worry this will be a long story…err at least long to my standard (I'm a one-shot author) Nope Sakura wouldn't be appearing yet.

**IcecreamXD:** yep no harm done. Actually that was my one of my…err hundreds mistakes. I do, most of the time type your instead of you're…my mind kinda skip it when I'm re-reading it thus leaving it there…saa…I really do need a beta…saa…hehehe thanks for the review.

**Random19:** I know what you mean…I even have this whole story plan out from end to finish but sadly the between chapters are the ones missing. Saa…if I could only make it to the end…

**eTerNaLzAnzI98:** _(stare at the review) (stare) (stare) (re-read the said chapter) (stare)_ oh my god!! I didn't meant that, pervert…although I like how your mind works…cheers to perverts like us _(dances happily in nude)_

**plimsoul: **saa…prank…saa…well Sasuke here don't want to meet Sakura at all and is delaying my most precious time by flirting with Naruto instead…but don't worry the prank will pursue even if it means I have to fight Sasuke with claws and tooth, roar.

**Skyinthenightslove:** Saa…I did answer your questions already right? Saa…I love readers who ask questions _(huggles)_ Shoot me questions I'm ready _(dressed in warrior clothes)_

So again people I'm drowning in writers block my two chapter inspiration run out…don't ask me why…because I already asked that myself, yell it even but my stupid self can't conjure some explanation so comments, suggestion, flames, request, plotlines, permission to write the next chapter…_(what? I'm lazy like that)_ would be highly appreciated.

Ja ne


	9. Teaching

**Imitating Myself**

**By: Late-Sleeper**

**Disclaimer: **I don't own a thing…or else Naruto would be rated NC-17

* * *

**Chapter 9: Teaching**

* * *

"You're kind of like a dictionary, because you add meaning to my life"

Sasuke snorted at Naruto. "That was cheesy dobe."

Naruto glared at Sasuke and lightly jab him on the ribs. "Girls like that kind of thing."

"Hey, what are you two arguing about?" Kiba run towards the blond man and tackle him, in return Naruto gave him a whack on the head. "The hell Kiba."

Sasuke rolled his eyes as he watched the two idiots scuffle on the sofa like two five years old in a sand box. "The dobe is lecturing me about pick up lines."

Having enough of the fight, he pulled Naruto by the collar and put him at his other side where Kiba couldn't reach him. The blond pouted at that, because he was just about to win a great fight. "…and his pick up lines sucks."

"Did not."

"Did too."

"Fine. Here's another one. 'I'm lost, can I follow you home? Take that'." Naruto cheekily pointed a finger at Sasuke beckoning him to counter his attack. "That was lame." Both Kiba and Sasuke exclaimed.

"What?! It was cute." Naruto looked at both of them with shock.

"Yeah for a serial killer. Follow you home?! Who the hell would not freak with that?" Kiba laugh aloud and smirked at the blond.

"Can I borrow a quarter?" Kiba looked expectantly at Sasuke who only looked at him like was on crack but he just smiled anyway. "…cause I promised my mom I would call her when I met the girl of my dreams. That, my friend is a sure thing pick up line."

"That is as lame as the dobe." Naruto nod vigorously not minding for the first time he and Sasuke agreed on something. "Che this is fucking impossible."

Kiba pride was hurt. He used that line so many times and look at him now…well fine he didn't have a girl now. Alright, fine, he still hadn't had a girl friend _till_ now but that line still kick ass. "Well see if you can come up with a better line, princess."

"If you were a booger I'd pick you." Naruto snorted at that while Sasuke smirked at him. "What? It was very original."

"That sucks much worst than mine and Naruto, Uchiha."

"Have a better one?"

"Sure. 'I was so enraptured with your beauty that I ran into a wall. So I will need your name and number, for insurance purposes'. Beat that, teme."

Kiba made a falling gesture as he clutched his chest as if he was having a heart attack. "Urghh…that was horrible Naruto." A choking sound was heard courtesy of the dog breath, which only infuriated the blond more. "I still have one dog-breath. 'Excuse me sexy but do you have a license to drive me this crazy?"

"Oh nooooo! The cheesy attack continues." Kiba made a gagging sound.

"As if you can do better fucktard." Naruto sneer at Kiba while the other leaned towards the two focusing his whole attention at Naruto. Naruto on the other hand leaned closer defiantly; the only entity separating their faces was Sasuke. "That shirt's cute, but it would look better on the floor of my _bed room_."

Naruto blushed slightly and whacked Kiba on the head earning him a punch on the face. Sasuke on the other hand was fighting both stray hands hitting his way. It wasn't good to be in between two fighting morons so he did what he was supposed too. He slammed both Naruto's and Kiba's head with each other. That silenced them up.

Kiba clutched his throbbing head and cursed Sasuke to hell. He was about to punch the prick when a fist landed on his cheek instead. He blinked twice as he realized that the fist that just smacked him on the face was Naruto's who was aiming at Sasuke but unwittingly landed on him instead. Angered by that he leaped off his seat towards the blond only to be jab at the stomach by an elbow courtesy of the raven who was about to punch the blond but hit the poor Kiba on the process.

Kiba fell down the couch with a loud thud but the two other occupants was too busy to notice as each one tried punching the day lights off each other, although every hit didn't reach the opponent since the two counter every attack with accuracy. It was mere dance to them.

Shikamaru on the other hand was quite infuriated on what was going on. This was his house after all. He didn't want anything breaking. "Naruto, get here and help me with this pasta."

"Che. We'll settle this at home, teme" Naruto who was still holding Sasuke by the collar snarl between his teeth. He reluctantly let go of the raven disheveled shirt and stood up but before he did Sasuke who was still clutching his front shirt pulled him down and leaned towards his ear.

"Your lips look lonely, they should meet mine." Words where huskily whispered.

Sasuke: 2 points. Naruto: zero.

"Bastard."

RULER RULER RULER

"Hey teme would you…" Sasuke groan lowly and handed Naruto the soy sauce, in return the blond smiled at him sweetly and the raven couldn't help but roll his eyes. Sasuke spooned his miso and cringed at the blandness of the food. "Dobe…"

Naruto glanced at Sasuke and frowned, on which the raven glared at him. "Fine teme. Here." Naruto handed Sasuke the salt on which the raven hastily grabbed and poured one fourth of its content on his soup on earning a vigorous head shake from the blond. "Teme! That's too much salt! I told you to lay low on the salt. It can cause hypertension."

"Says who, FHM magazine?"

"Well…"

A smirked grace Sasuke's face as the fuming blond shut his mouth in annoyance. A pregnant pause made Sasuke resolve crumble. "Fine dobe, you win…want something to drink?"

Naruto perked up and gave a pouty kissing gesture. Sasuke only snort at the act and threw a napkin at Naruto's face earning a teasing smile at the blond. "Get my favorite." "Fine, dobe."

Kiba who was witchingly the whole act painfully growled at Naruto who was staring at the departing raven. "What the hell was that?"

"What was, 'what'?" Naruto turn his face toward his friend in a puzzled frown. "That!" Kiba growled hotly not really knowing how to elaborate what he meant. Shikamaru sigh loudly at the slightly annoyed Kiba and a very oblivious Naruto. "Kiba meant the whole mind reading thing. We could not even catch up what the hell you two were talking about. You simply didn't finish your own sentences but the other simply gets what you mean."

"Oh."

"Don't just say 'oh', ramen-breath."

"Well what can I say were soulmates maybe."

Kiba eyes became grotesque huge and couldn't help putting his hand towards his open mouth. "That's the gay-est thing I've ever heard." The dog boy shook his head in disgust.

"Troublesome as always. Naruto you just met him. Even I couldn't reach that level with you…you never opened up li…" The presence of Sasuke abruptly halted Shikamaru on what he was going to say to the blond. Damn! It's been so long since they hand talk like this. He thought it was thing of the past but it seems like having Sasuke's presence just brought the past once more. He knew something was up. Naruto knew something…or whatever…that the blond was hiding from them. He sighed loudly at that notion.

Sasuke glance at the silent trio on the table and felt that he had entered the room in the wrong time. "Hey, what did I miss?" Sitting beside the blond Sasuke handed Naruto his drink on which the blond receive impassively.

Kiba _not_ feeling the awkwardness of the situation continued terrorizing the blond. "Hey Naruto. Gaara knows about this, right?"

Sasuke hearing the name perked up and frown at the dog boy. The name sounded familiar and he didn't like it a bit. "Who's Gaara?" He calmly asked Kiba although his eyes never left Naruto's face.

"Naruto's gay benefactor." Naruto's eyes almost popped out as he almost choke on what he was drinking. He shot a menacing glare at a grinning Kiba. "WHAT THE HELL?!"

"What? It's true."

"He's just my boss."

Kiba grin wider as the fuming blond went from tan to pale then to crimson. He never knew a person could change so much color in a few seconds. "See! His giving you money."

"That's because I'm working for him dimwit! An unemployed bum couldn't possibly know what an employee-employer relationship works." Naruto huff and pointed an accusing finger at Kiba.

Kiba only snorted. "See you even said 'relationship'. Come on Naruto you know Gaara has a thing for you in his own '_I'm-asexual-but-I-think-your-cute-Naruto_' way. No sane employer could ever hire you Naruto only a demented red hair did." True, Naruto did have the hardest time landing a job simply because he was raise as an orphan with no family wanting to adopt him. He also had difficulty at school with him having very short attention span. But damn, Kiba shouldn't have said it that lightly. It pains Naruto to remember all that.

Kiba who was mentally berating himself from lashing at the blond just now. He didn't know what came over him. He felt angry after hearing the blond saying Sasuke is his soul mate. He was his closest friend for fuck sake! Then again Naruto is always been like fragile glass…and '_that topic_' was always been avoided by Naruto and him. "Naruto…I'm sor…oh my god your bleeding!"

Naruto glanced at where Kiba was pointing and was shocked upon realizing that he was clutching the fork tightly piercing his flesh on the process. Realization socks him and soon pain registered on his tiny brain. "WHAAAAAAAA OUCH OUCH!! OUCH!!"

"Dobe, lemme see." Sasuke grabbed Naruto's hand and studied the wound. Shikamaru, the most sensible person in the room, handed the raven the medicine kit on which the Sasuke receive with thanks. He proceeded to cleanse the wound with some clean cotton and was relieved to see that most are just superficial abrasion and only one deep puncture on which the blond would live. He then proceeded to apply antiseptic and bandage to Naruto's hand. "There." Sasuke look up at Naruto smiling. "Does it still hurt my little cry baby?" Sasuke make a cooing sound and face while he held Naruto's hand close to his face.

Naruto angrily pulled his injured hand away and gave Sasuke the 'finger' with the other, giving Sasuke a sneer. Sasuke smiled genuinely at the blond and ruffle his hair. "That's my boy. Come on let's go home."

"Kiba!" Naruto smiled at the dishearten man and gave him the flip earning him a smug smile from the dog breath. Glad the balance was once again restored. "Bye Shika!"

"Che! Troublesome."

"Come on dobe." Naruto wave at his two friends as Sasuke took his hand and literally drag off. "Thanks for the meal."

Outside Naruto happily skipped on his every step, grinning like a cat that ate the canary. "Hey Sasuke can you take me for a ride in your hot car?"

Sasuke glanced at his grinning companion and was glad that the blond has such short attention span and the fight Kiba and him had had been forgotten. He shook his head, he wonder if it was luck or a curse. Still… "Dobe, you do know I don't have a car."

Naruto still grinning lean closer to Sasuke, lips near the raven's ear and whispered huskily. "Ok, how about you just ride me instead…"

Sasuke felt shivers run down his spine as he watched the blond do some weird victory dance waving both hands in the air. Damn! He got him there.

Now the score was getting interesting. Sasuke: 2, Naruto: 1.

Naruto on the middle of his very sensual and exotic victory dance stop at his track abruptly as a pink haired woman stared at him in disgust. He felt himself paling from head to too. He was rooted to the spot when Sakura reluctantly walk towards him. "Naru…Oh my god! Sasuke?!"

Naruto felt Sasuke bump onto him and he glance back at the smiling raven oblivious to Naruto's inner turmoil. "Dobe, come on." A tug jolted Naruto from his shock.

"It is you. Sasuke-kun." Sasuke look at the gushing girl who suddenly materialize in front of him.

"Do I know you?"

**:TSUZUKU:**

**Sasuke: **What the hell? Sakura?! I thought that she won't be appearing till..ten more chapters!! What the hell were you thinking?!

**LateSleeper: **Cause your getting all over Naru-chan. Pervert! I had to make you keep your hand to yourself or my poor Naru-chan would be devirginized before the whole story is over.

**Sasuke:** That's the point moron!

**LateSleeper:** Oh! Can I video you while doing _it_?


	10. Introducing

**Imitating Myself**

**By: Late-Sleeper**

**Beta-reader: ****Pay Backs a Bitch**

**Disclaimer: **I don't own a thing…or else Naruto would be rated NC-17

* * *

**Chapter 10: Introducing**

* * *

The loud slamming of porcelains and pans were heard from the kitchen, followed by groans and whines courtesy of the dumb blond. Sasuke sighed loudly and excused himself to check on Naruto before the idiot wreck _their_ home, Sakura grudgingly smiled back. Damn Naruto from ruining her chat with his precious Sasuke.

Sasuke who was quite thankful to escape Sakura's nonsensical gushing and batting of eye lashes proceeded to stalk the fuming blond. He caught the blond muttering obscenities to a poor teacup that was whimpering silently. Naruto grabbed the jar of tea and then proceeded to scold the jar too, much to the jar's annoyance. "What kind of fucking tea are you? You smell like old man's foot! Why the hell did Sasuke even buy you?!"

"Dobe." Naruto shrieked and almost dropped the jar in his hand, he grabbed on to the counter and glares at Sasuke heatedly. "Bastard, don't sneak on me like that!"

Sasuke stalked towards the blushing blond and smirks. "Why the hell are you scolding my tea?" He asked as he leaned towards the counter, planting his both hands on the counter as he trap the blond between. Naruto who is not ready for such confrontation tried to get away from Sasuke but the raven did not budge. Naruto's squirming only fueled Sasuke's amusement. He leaned forward and grins at the blushing blond. "Why are you angry?"

"I'm not angry." Naruto stared off the horizon avoiding Sasuke's searching eyes while he tried pushing the raven off him. "…and get off me."

"No. Your mad and I want to know why dobe." With a stern voice, Sasuke grabs Naruto's chin and forced him to face him. Naruto face became harder but remained silent. "Dobe?"

"…I can't…it's too early…"

"Huh?" Sasuke stares at the blond in puzzlement. He wonders what the hell the blond was muttering about. "What? What's early?"

"This!"

With resignation, Sasuke bowed his head in defeat. He, for the life of him, could not understand how an idiot thinks "Dobe!"

"This! This! This! Sakura seeing you, you being friendly with her…you chatting like you knew her…" Naruto banged his fist at the counter three times letting out his frustration on the poor kitchen counter. The kitchen counter wondered if there is a law about kitchen appliances abuse. He sure as hell wanted to sue the blond! The teacup and the tea jar would sure be his witness.

"Huh? Isn't this what you want?" Sasuke raised his head and frowned at the pouting blond. "Or are you just jealous?"

Naruto eyes bulged and he stammered a bit but no coherent words where uttered. He shut his mouth after trying to counter Sasuke's accusation. Sasuke frowns at the silent admission.

Jealous.

What can he expect, the dobe like the slut pink fur ball of doom.

"I…I…I just don't want to share you this early…" Sasuke was shock when Naruto leaned his head on his shoulder.

Shockers.

Loud trumpets were heard from heaven as golden light started streaming down towards Sasuke's face.

Sasuke was praising all the deity in heaven with an erotic dance he came up to please the god. He swore that he would give money to charity everyday. Heck he'd even go to church and join the old women's choir.

Thank you lord.

Sasuke gave a small smile and lifted Naruto's chin. The blond's eyes were welling with unshed tears. The blond looks fuckable right now, with his lips pouting at him like that and his cheeks painted with a slight blush. Damn! If only he could shove the pink bitch out. "Naruto…"

Naruto smiled softly at the raven as the said raven leans his face closer to the blond's. "I just don't want to share my best _buddy_ right now. Not even to Sakura."

In Sasuke's head, a loud screeching sound could be heard.

All the praises and dancing halted.

"What?!"

Naruto patted Sasuke's shoulder and smiles at him. "You're my best friend. I'm jealous when you give more attention to anyone other than me." Sasuke felt his fingers twitching, wanting to strangle someone who we should hide in the name of Uzumaki Naruto. He growled lowly as Naruto continues patting his shoulder with friendly glee.

With a huffed and snarl Sasuke left. "Show Sakura the way out, I'm taking a shower." 'A very cold shower.'

Naruto was left puzzled by Sasuke's sudden departure, wondering what had gotten to the raven suddenly.

* * *

Shikamaru laid his head on his right hand as he watched Kiba feigned shock upon hearing the meeting between Sakura and Sasuke. The dog breath was amusing himself by making ridiculous shocking faces as the blond was recounting the meeting. The blond was really taken in by Kiba's acting that he eagerly and exaggeratedly narrates every detail of Sasuke and Sakura's face to face encounter.

Sasuke on the other hand gave a snarling sound whenever the blond would encourage him to say his own story. He was quite sore about their almost kiss. Shikamaru glanced at the raven in mild amusement.

"Hey, Sasuke…now that you've met Sakura I think that we should really intensify your lesson. We don't want you screwing up." Sasuke frowned at the lazy genius while Shikamaru smiles back at him with malice. Damn he love screwing with people's head and the Uchiha had the prettiest, not to mention fucked up, head.

Naruto glances at the two and nodded his agreement. "Yeah teme. Damn! Your pick up lines still sucks you now, like Kiba here." A finger pointed accusingly at a shock dog-boy.

"What?! Me?! The hell ramen-breath. As you could do better, virgin!" Naruto eyes got larger at the accusation and his hand shot up to cover his mouth automatically. Kiba smiles cheekily at him and goad the blond more. "Huh? Huh? Huh? So what you gonna do virgin-boy?!"

"WHAA!! I…I'm…"

"Don't say your not. You'd been hounding Sakura that you've forget that other girls exist." Kiba made a mock crying gesture at Naruto as the blond tried hard to restrain himself from murdering a friend in the middle of a fast food chain.

Sasuke, who was all ears when he heard the word 'VIRGIN', listens with fascination on every word the dog breath uttered. So the mutt has some use after all. "I thought he was Sakura's ex?"

Kiba's jaw dropped and almost drops off his chair laughing. Shikamaru made an amuse snort as the blond blushed furiously with embarrassment. "WHAT THE HELL?! Where did you get that? That's the biggest joke ever."

Sasuke gave a charming smile towards Naruto's way. "Well if I remember correctly, dobe. You told me that, right?" Kiba glanced at the blond who's now praying to all deity to let the earth swallow him whole. "What? No way! Sakura hated Naruto, that's why we want to prank the bitch."

Sasuke whose amusement has reach his zenith gave his whole attention to the laughing dog breath. He leaned his chin on both his hand while fluttering his lashes at Kiba like a love struck schoolgirl. "Oh. Do tell. Do tell."

Kiba gushes at Sasuke as girly as he could and tried giggling with finesse as he recounted Naruto's failed attempts at wooing the pink hair girl. Naruto frowned when Kiba whispered at Sasuke behind his hand and the two giggled like old ladies. Infuriating the blond was the only amusement Sasuke and Kiba would ever agree on.

"Fine! I'm leaving." Naruto who is miffed at being gossiped in front of him huffed away. Sasuke hurriedly stood up and grabbed on to the blond's hand. "Heh dobe. We where just kidding."

"Whatever."

Shikamaru watches as the two semi-lovebirds walked away from their table. A soft growl averted his attention from the two towards the fuming Kiba. He raised his brow at the man with puzzlement.

"He's holding Naruto's hand again!"

"I thought you got over that. Naruto and Sasuke are friends and I thought you feel the same way too."

Kiba was taken aback and shot a frown at Shikamaru. "Why the hell would you think that?"

"Well, I don't know. Hmm…You're _gushing and giggling_ with him moments ago did make an impression that you two are gay friends…"

"What?! I'm not gay. I'm just getting on his good side so someday I could expose him to Naruto then he would no longer hold Naruto's hand WHAHAHAHA."

Shikamaru shook his head and frown. 'Troublesome.'

Sasuke glanced back over his shoulder upon hearing Kiba's laughter. He frowned and gave a puzzled look at Shikamaru. The lazy genius made a circling motion of his finger at the side of his temple and Sasuke snort and smirk in agreement.

A tug of his hand brought his attention back to Naruto. "Hey teme let's go there!" Naruto pointed at a nearby park. He nodded and let the blond drag him there by the hand.

Naruto, even at the age of twenty-five was still a kid at heart.

He followed the blond as the said blond hopped and skipped towards a swing. He smiled at Naruto's childishness but soon that smile was replace with sour scowl upon glancing in the corner of his eye a familiar car.

"Well, well, well if it isn't _my_ cute Banana-pie. How have you've grown, _princess_…"

Naruto's eyes went wide as saucer upon hearing the familiar pet name. It was years since he last heard someone called him that…that embarrassing nickname. Only one person could come up with such humiliating name for him.

"Itachi-nii?"

**:TSUZUKU:**


	11. Teasing

**Imitating Myself**

**By: Late-Sleeper**

**Beta-reader: ****Pay Backs a Bitch**

**Disclaimer: **I don't own a thing…or else Naruto would be rated NC-17

* * *

**Chapter 11: Teasing**

* * *

Sasuke couldn't believe that his sadist brother was in front of him…with NARUTO!! He shot a death glare towards his brother who was looking at him impassively.

"Wha…what are you doing here Itachi-nii?" Naruto stuttered as he gazed at the pokerfaced but still sexy Uchiha.

Sasuke who is panicking and screaming inside his head tugged Naruto's shirt coolly and asked. "Naruto aren't you going to introduce us?"

Sensing no response from the still star struck blonde, Sasuke groaned as he extended his hand towards the new comer. "Hi, I'm Shino. And you are?"

Itachi looked down at Sasuke's out-stretched hand and glanced back at his scheming baby brother who's giving him his trade mark say-something-and-you're-dead look. He was quite amused at his little brother's pathetic little scheme.

A small twitch of his lips made Sasuke cringed.

Blackmail material.

"I'm Uchiha Itachi, Naruto's fiancé." A smile broke off from Itachi's lips that many fan girls started swooning over. It's not everyday that you see the most powerful man in Japan smile like that unless his order of assassination was carried out perfectly without a hitch.

Sasuke smiled forcedly and gritted his teeth. "Oh, really? The dobe hadn't told me he had a fiancé. Are you sure, you are not _mistaken_?" '_Asshole_'

"Oh I'm quite sure. If I remember it clearly _my banana-pie_ asked me to marry him when he was just a cute chubby kid…of course after he decided he couldn't marry _Spiderman_." Itachi put his finger on his chin thoughtfully as he stares off at the sky remembering the scene.

Naruto who had just woken up from his trance stammered and waved both his hands at Itachi, exclaiming that he was just a child back then and he didn't know what it was to marry someone.

Itachi almost hugged the blonde but instead, to save his pride and dignity as an Uchiha, proceeded to pinch Naruto's cheek. "How cute. You still blush like a girl, _princess_."

Sasuke groans and shook his head as he remembered quite clearly the event that ruined his dream wedding with the blonde.

…And the day he deemed his brother as his ultimate rival.

Yes, it was an awful day.

A dreadful day that ironically was, as he recalls, a beautiful day. The sun had been shining, birds chirping and cool breeze was playing with fallen leaves.

A day when, he and Naruto were playing outside the Uchiha's mansion as Itachi watched over them in silent amusement. Naruto was very cute back then, with his big blue eyes and chubby cheeks, he was pinch-worthy indeed.

Actually, in one occasion he actually thought the blonde was a female when they were first introduced.

They were mere children at that time but with his immature heart, Sasuke knew that Naruto was the one, whatever the blonde sex would be, be it a girl or a boy.

Yes, he was quite smitten with the blonde.

Therefore, that day he decided to make it known to the blonde his plan of marriage, so he asked the dobe casually whom he would marry when he grew up hoping the blonde would choose him and then…HAHAHA then he would make the blonde promise that they would marry someday. He would hold that oath till they grow! Naruto would be his!!

Nyahahahaha!!

Then all his great evil plans ended when the blonde answered at him with a large toothy grin.

"_I'm going to marry Spiderman!"_

He stood there gaping, jaw dropped and eyes wide as saucers while the blonde stood in front of him smiling innocently oblivious to Sasuke inner turmoil.

Sasuke's imaginary kingdom crumbled as a tsunami ate away his hopes and dreams in one big gulp.

He berated the blonde for being a dobe. He even argued that Spiderman was an insect but the blonde didn't believe him. They kept arguing that until the blonde almost cried out when Sasuke in his frustration grabbed the blonde's arm tightly.

Itachi walked towards the two and scolded Sasuke lightly as the blonde attached his body on his right leg as he continued to glare daggers at Sasuke while keeping his welling tears at bay.

It was such a cute sight if only Naruto didn't open his mouth and said the most heart wrecking statement that struck Sasuke's young heart.

"If I can't marry Spiderman then I'll marry Itachi-nii instead." Naruto looked up at Itachi who's wearing a slight shock on his face. "You'd marry me right, Tachi-nii?"

Recovering from shock Itachi ruffled Naruto's blonde hair and smiled down at the cute five year old boy. "Of course I'll marry you."

And that was Sasuke's first heart ache. He learned then there that life was cruel but Itachi was crueler.

Then on that very day, the scheming, murder-plotting, sociopath Sasuke was born.

Sasuke cringed at the memory and almost shed a tear as he remembers the last image of an innocent _him_.

The sweet, loving, cute-as-hell innocent him, was gone.

Sounds of porcelain cup jolted Sasuke back from reality and frowned when his gaze fell on the two men having tea.

What the hell?!

"Oh, so you finally snapped out of your day dream, _Shino-san…_that was such a _long_ day dream that we decided to have some tea while you get carried away by your fantasy." Itachi smiled at Sasuke while he poured some tea to Naruto's cup as the blonde made himself comfortable with his seat.

"Yeah, teme I thought you were in a coma or something. Good thing 'Tachi-nii has some tea tables and chairs ready for times like this."

Sasuke growled as Itachi gave Naruto a million dollar smile as the blonde giggled and gushes. He stalked towards the two and grabbed Naruto's hand.

"Why are you here?" He glares at Itachi who matches him with the same glare.

"Well I was looking for my cute little brother who ran away from all his responsibilities…"

Naruto made a choking sound and leaned forward towards Itachi. "What?! Sasuke's missing?"

Itachi gave a small smirk on Sasuke's way and turned his face toward the blonde. "Don't worry Banana-pie, my little brother must be somewhere whoring his way into a women's skirt. He's such a playboy you know…fucking anyone, anywhere…or maybe he's with his _childhood sweetheart_ and may be fucking as we speak."

Sasuke fisted his hand tightly as he recalls his perfect murder plot for Itachi's assassination. What did he do to nature to receive such a bastard of a brother?

A loud thud broke the death glares between brothers and Sasuke was a bit taken aback when he realized that the dobe was standing, head bowed and seems to be restraining his emotion. "Sasuke…Sasuke's not here. He'll never come here. He'll never…"

Itachi placed his hand atop the blonde's and patted it softly.

"I'm sorry Itachi-nii but I have to go…I'm…I don't feel well. Goodbye." With that the blonde rushes off not even waiting for the still stunned Sasuke, leaving the raven behind. Sasuke glared at his brother but bowed his head as he fled towards the agitated blonde while Itachi was left, amused at the sudden turn of event.

* * *

Naruto slammed the door shut and buried himself on his blanket.

He couldn't believe that after all this years he was still affected when Sasuke was the topic.

Why? Why did it still affected him that much when he himself promised to forget the raven-haired man.

Why did it still make his stomach clench and his heart flutter?

Naruto buried his face more on his pillow as he tried to muffle the scream escaping from his lips. He pounded his fist on the bed in frustration.

Sasuke walked inside their room and shook his head when he saw a quivering lump on Naruto's bed. He sighed and stalked towards Naruto and touched his back…hopefully what he was touching is really the blonde's back.

"Dobe, what are you upset about?" Sasuke asked.

Naruto stopped trembling and peeped out from his blanket to glare at Sasuke. "Nothing."

"Dobe, there must be something. Unless you are jerking off inside that blanket after you've met your crush again. Then by all means continue what you are doing." Sasuke sneered.

Naruto hurriedly took the blanket off his body and glared at the smirking raven. A blush started to paint his face with embarrassment.

"I'm not jacking off, you bastard! PERVERT!" Naruto fervently retorted.

"Then what the hell is your problem?"

"I told you, nothing."

Sasuke gave an irritated sigh. "Dobe."

"…"

"Hn." Sasuke gave a loud sigh again and started to walk away when a sudden tug stopped him in his tracks. He glanced over his shoulder with a frowned at the blonde man holding on to the end of his shirt, face averted away from him.

"He's not like that…he's not like that…"

"Huh? Who?"

"Sasuke's not like that."

Sasuke frowned. "The bastard?"

Naruto suddenly leaped towards the unsuspecting raven and growled. Sasuke effortless caught the blonde in his arms but the sudden impact made him lose his footings. He tried not to fall but his weight together with the blonde's was too much even for him.

He tried to maneuver his body so that he might fall on to something soft. Luckily, his bed is only a few feet away from the blonde's bed.

With a heap, they fell on Sasuke's bed, Naruto atop the raven. Sasuke was in pleasure paradise right now.

Naruto was straddling Sasuke, oblivious to the fact that the raven's both hands were on his hips their faces an inch away from each other.

… if only the blonde wasn't supporting an enraged expression and clutching at his collar like a mad man.

"Take that back! Sasuke is not a bastard!!"

Sasuke made a puzzled look.

What the hell?!

"HUH?! What the hell dobe."

Naruto aimed a fist at Sasuke, intent of punching the man if Sasuke wouldn't take back what he just said. "Take that back. Sasuke is _not_ a bastard!

Huh?

Sasuke gave a bewildered look at Naruto. He wondered briefly what did Itachi gave to the blonde. The dobe must have been high on something.

"Huh?! The hell dobe. You always said he was a bastard!!"

Naruto clenched his fist tightly but restrained himself from punching the raven. He growled lowly.

"I…I'm the only one who can call him that. Don't you dare call my best friend names."

Heh.

Somehow Sasuke was feeling happy inside that the blonde was defending him, even though the reason was so demented.

Still it was nice.

"Dobe. What the hell?!"

Naruto suddenly broke off from his wild frenzy and looked down on his captive. He blushed at their very suggestive position. He hurriedly took off his hand from Sasuke's collar and rubbed his head in embarrassment. He gave an embarrass chuckle making the bed vibrate.

Sasuke willed his sudden discomfort as the blonde who was still oblivious that he was still sitting on Sasuke's precious treasure, not that the raven minded.

"Heh, sorry I snapped at you like that." Naruto apologized softly.

"Dobe…"

"Sorry, I just don't like anyone badmouthing Sasuke except me…"

Sasuke sighed and made himself comfortable under Naruto, he felt this would be a long talk. "I thought you didn't like him?"

"Well…he's a bastard after all…but he _was_ my best friend too."

"You hate him but then you like him. That's stupid dobe." Sasuke sighed.

Naruto angrily planted his hands on both sides of Sasuke's head and hovered his face over Sasuke's. He growled a bit. "I'm not a dobe! My feelings aren't stupid!"

Sasuke smiled as Naruto's angry face and shot his hand towards the blonde's head. He gently pulled Naruto's head towards him.

Naruto unexpectedly obliged willingly and laid his head on the crook of Sasuke's neck and shoulder. He made himself comfortable on top of the raven while said raven patted his head affectionately. He purred with satisfaction.

A long pregnant pause ensued and was only broken after a few minutes when Naruto decided to talk.

Naruto snuggled more into Sasuke's warmth and snaked his arm around the man's waist and inhaled Sasuke's scent. "You want to know a secret?"

"Hmm?" Sasuke turned his head and grazed his lips on Naruto's hair. He too snaked his arms around the blonde's waist and hugged the blonde tightly to his body.

Naruto too turned his head to face the raven. He gave a loud sigh as Sasuke smiled and kissed the top of his nose affectionately. He gave a smile in return as he began tracing Sasuke's cheeks with his fingers. "I really thought you were the real Sasuke. When I saw Itachi I was afraid he'd take you away from me… again."

Sasuke's eyes widen and his hands froze.

Naruto's fingers gave a feathery touched on Sasuke's lips. "You really do look like him. The first time I saw you, you've reminded me of him. You sound the same; you say the same things…"

"But I thought you said that…"

"Hmm?"

Sasuke shook his head to clear his mind. He brushed his hand with his fingers and sigh. "Why didn't you say anything?"

"Because Shika and Kiba would worry. They always worry; they'd think that my bad past would resurface if I got close to you…"

"Dobe…I'm…I'm really…" Sasuke mentally berated himself from stuttering. This was his chance to admit his feelings, his true identity, his chance of sweeping the blonde off his feet and pounding him in the nearest mattress, which was conveniently beneath him.

The time had come to take what was rightfully his.

"But you know, I'm glad you're not the really Sasuke, cause Itachi would take you away and I don't like that. I don't want to be hurt no more."

"Dobe…I…"

"It hurts to be _lied_ at."

Fuck!

That goes his only chance.

Bye…bye true identity…

Naruto snuggled closer to the raven oblivious to Sasuke's inner turmoil as the raven rotted away inside. Sasuke was no longer enjoying, not even giving a damn as Naruto snuggled closely and grazed his lips on his neck.

He was just lying stiffly as the blonde, in all innocence, molested him.

"Oh by the way Gaara wanted to meet you tomorrow."

God why do you hate me so much?

**

* * *

**

:TSUZUKU:

**Late-Sleeper:** Miss me _–looks around- _none? Fine! Lurkdom here I come again. _–goes on hiatus once again-_


	12. Scaring

**Imitating Myself**

**By: Late-Sleeper**

**Beta-reader: ****Pay Backs a Bitch**

**Disclaimer: **I don't own a thing…or else Naruto would be rated NC-17

**

* * *

**

**Chapter 12: Scaring**

* * *

Shikamaru shook his head and nodded every now and then as the raven recounted his meeting with his brother. He gave a loud sigh. "So he thinks you're the _real_ Sasuke but since Itachi doesn't know you he thought otherwise."

"Hn."

"Hmmm? Let me get this straight. Before Itachi came Naruto believed you were the real deal?"

"Hn."

"Then when your brother pretended he didn't know you, Naruto now thinks you're not the real Sasuke."

"Hn."

"Then when he hired you he knew you were the real deal and now…"

"Enough! However you rephrased it, it's still the same. He thought I was the real Sasuke now he doesn't, period!"

Shikamaru smirked at Sasuke's sudden outburst; then again, he couldn't blame the raven for being angry. "It sucks to be you."

Sasuke banged his head on the table and groaned. Shikamaru was right! His life sucks.

"I thought your brother liked to see you suffer? So why did he help you at that time?" Shikamaru cocked his head and frowned. Sasuke shot him a frowned too.

"Because he's the devil, he knew that Naruto was suspecting it was me. He planned all of this! He knew it would turn out this way." Sasuke growled lowly as he felt himself trembling with fury.

Yes, his hate for his brother has reached the zenith.

He knew that somehow his brother knew this was going to happen.

He was the devil after all.

"Troublesome." Shikamaru shook his head and frowned. He felt a chill run down his spine as he imagined how powerful the older Uchiha is. He shuddered more as he imagined a black haired man laughing maniacally at him.

A loud laughter broke their conversation and both looked up and saw Naruto with a fear-stricken Kiba together with a…very pale looking man.

"Hey guys!" Naruto waved his hand at both Shikamaru and Sasuke as he dragged their redhead companion towards their table. "Gaara meet my roommate Sasuke. Sasuke, this is my boss Gaara."

The redhead grunted and took his seat near the blond. Sasuke too grunted in acknowledgement.

Naruto grinned. "Gaara said nice to meet you. Hey what do you guys want?"

Kiba happily raised his hand to say his order when his eyes fell on the glaring redhead, he felt a chill run down his spine and instead of a loud booming voice he usual have when he's ordering his favorite drink he squeaked it, like a girl. "Mocha Frap."

Naruto who's oblivious to Kiba's sudden look of terror shouted at the waiter to get their orders. Shikamaru shook his head and silently apologized for his friend's lack of breeding when the waiter came.

"Café Latte." Sasuke ordered.

Shikamaru ordered the same as Kiba while they all waited for both Naruto's and Gaara's orders. Shika watched nonchalantly as Naruto patiently read Gaara's face for an answer. He glanced at the redhead and only saw a glimpse of a sudden movement of his lips.

Or maybe he was just hallucinating.

He sighed at how troublesome it was. He knew that no matter how long they waited the redhead wouldn't say any…

"Okay! Black coffee and no sugar it is. Mine is chocolate with chips." Naruto chirped happily while both Kiba and Shikamaru jaws dropped in surprised.

Shikamaru wanted to question the blond how he managed to know what the redhead wanted when the redhead didn't even say a thing…nor made a face. Though Kiba beat him to it. "HOW DID YOU KNOW HE WANTED THAT?!!"

Naruto frowned at the question and glanced at Kiba as though he was on crack or something. "Cause he said it, Dog-breath."

"No, he did not say a thing. He just grunted Ramen-breath!" Kiba countered.

Naruto felt a bit irritated and jabbed Kiba's side with his finger. "Yeah. That's not just a grunt; it's called a manly grunt. Most men communicate by that."

"WHAT?! What the hell are you saying?! Men don't talk in grunt…I'm a man so I should know if it's true or not." Kiba growled at the infuriating blond.

Naruto rolled his eyes in annoyance. He pity Kiba, really. The poor Kiba doesn't even know he wasn't a man yet.

To be a man is to know how to talk like a man.

And men, true men that is, talk in grunts.

"Sasuke talks in grunts, Gaara talks in grunts, Neji too. Hell even Shika here talks in grunts most of the time." Naruto pointed to the bored looking genius. Kiba gave him the hey-come-to-my-rescue-look but he only receive the resounding you're-troublesome-look.

"See." Naruto smiled triumphantly as Kiba growled. "Che! I also grunt you know, for time to time."

Naruto snickered. "Baka, you don't grunt, you growl…like a dog."

Kiba almost launched himself at the blond when suddenly he felt two evil force throwing invisible daggers at him. He glanced at his front and saw Sasuke and Gaara making a threatening eye on him. He decided that he loved his life and wanted to marry before he could be castrated so he settled on his seat again and growled.

"Then you're not a man too. You don't grunt!" Kiba made a face.

Naruto sneered at the taunting dog boy and aim another jab with his finger this time towards Kiba's tummy. "I'm a man, a manly man, because I can understand their every grunt."

"No you don't."

"Yes, I do."

"No you don't"

"I do! I do! I do!" Sasuke smirked at how childish the blond was right now.

Kiba feeling a bit tired with their banter growled loudly and dared Naruto to prove it to him on which the blond cheekily obliged. "Watch Gaara closely."

Kiba warily glanced at the redhead. "And?"

"Look…he's twitching his lips slightly up…and he's slightly rolling his eyeballs and puffing some air off his nose…" Kiba eyes focused on Gaara's face, he watched as Gaara's face indeed changed though just for a fleeting moment then no more. Like a blink of an eye.

Naruto smirked. "He said that you're an idiot."

"What he did not."

"He did too. Right Gaara." Gaara made a very slight nod at the blond in affirmation. "See?"

Kiba growled and was again on the verge on attacking the blond when he glanced once again at Gaara. He scooted on his seat and leaned more on Shikamaru like a dog taking refuge.

Sasuke who was silently watching the whole comedy act was quite amused at Kiba's sudden nervousness whenever he would glance at the porcelain doll that was called Gaara.

"Hey dog-breath…"

Kiba growled at Sasuke, intent on venting his anger to the Uchiha if only Shika hadn't stopped him from jumping at the bastard.

Sasuke smirked but continued. "Why are you afraid of this asshole?"

Gaara's glanced at Sasuke and gave a pointy stare but said nothing. Kiba on the other hand shifted uncomfortably on his seat and stammered. "I…Me…I…I'm not afraid of him." The end came in a hiss.

Naruto watched as Gaara's eyebrow made a slight furrow as his lips twitch. Then he heard a sound so eerie that it made the hair on his arms stand upright, it was a good thing that the sound was so rare…thank god for that.

Kiba cringed as he heard a sound escaped from Gaara's lips. It sounded like between a baby being butchered and a growl of a werewolf…or maybe that of a creaking door in a haunted mansion and a growl of a rabid beast.

He flinched and scooted more to Shikamaru that the lazy genius was already complaining of invasion of his personal space. Che, such friend he has. He glanced at Naruto and waited for the '_**Manly interpretation**_'.

"He said you are afraid of him and that you're an idiot…." Naruto smiled "…and he also laughed." He added thoughtfully.

"That's a laugh?" Kiba felt a chill round down his spine.

Shikamaru gave a loud annoyed sigh and pushed Kiba off him, hopefully as far away from him as humanly possible. He wished that Kiba would take his advice and bathe more. He really stinks like hell. "Troublesome. Come on Inuzuka, what's the deal between you and him?" He pointed at Gaara.

Gaara, even though he wasn't saying anything, was feeling as though he was being talk about in a third person…far away from here. Yes, he was physically here but it seems like he wasn't really here when they talked about him. Or like he was sort of a thing and not a human being.

It was hurtful to be talk to like that.

Really.

It was breaking his tiny heart.

A snickered broke the eerie silence and all eyes landed on the now red face Naruto who was trying to restrain his laugh but failing miserably. "You…You mean he did…he didn't tell you?" Each word was followed by a suppressed laughter and snickers.

"Tell me what?"

"Our last vacation. The three of us together."

Shikamaru eyes rose a bit as he remembered that indeed his two friends and Gaara went on a three days vacation on some isolated island, the whole trip paid by Gaara's company. Unfortunately, he was on a job that he couldn't drop that he decided not to join the trio.

Although until this very day he haven't heard any story about that said vacation, which is quite perplexing because his two friends are the most talkative people he knew that ever existed.

Now for once in his twenty-five years of life he was really interested to know this one…even eager to hear a story for the first time…

"What about it?"

Kiba tried top cower and hide under the table as Naruto beamed at him maliciously.

"It all started when…" Naruto said in a dreamy voice.

Sasuke growled and threw a balled napkin at the blond. "Cut the crap and tell us the story, dobe."

"Che! Bastard doesn't even appreciate a good bedtime story…maybe your mother never told y…" Naruto sneered back.

Shikamaru grunted loudly that made Naruto flinched with fear. "Fine, Fine. Well it started when we first got there. We were so exhausted that we wanted to sleep, so we did. But Kiba here." Pointing to the cowering but glaring Kiba. "Is such a lousy bed mate. Shika, you know how he is, he snores, move, and sleep like a log."

Shikamaru nodded and signaled Naruto to continue. "Well, I wasn't really that affected because I was dead tired at that time though I couldn't say the same thing about Gaara here."

Everyone made a sidelong glance at the impassive porcelain doll …I mean Gaara.

"Well Gaara here is an insomniac so he couldn't really sleep at night at that time. So he witnessed Kiba every turns and hears his every snore."

"So?" Shikamaru growled in frustration. Naruto was talking slow deliberately and it's annoying the hell out of Shikamaru.

Naruto smirked and made his voice much slower than already is, annoying Shikamaru more and more. Che! Serve him right for all the lazy things he did. Pay backs a bitch.

"So on the second night before we went to sleep, Gaara stood beside Kiba's bed and loomed over him and guess what he did?"

Shikamaru snapped his hand on the table and glare threateningly at the unfazed blond. "What?" He asked in a hiss.

Naruto's grin spreads wider and chirped happily. "He tucked Kiba on the bed, kissed him on the forehead and bade him goodnight."

Shikamaru and Sasuke jaw dropped. Kiba sniffed a bit as he recalls the torture he went through that night.

"That was so…" Sasuke gently shook his head.

"Gay." Kiba supplemented.

"Creepy." Shikamaru sighed.

"Cute." Naruto chirped in and receives three hateful glares.

"That was so _mean_." Sasuke glanced at Gaara and shook his head in disbelief as he mouthed the words 'How could you?'

"So anyway Kiba couldn't sleep and was just watching Gaara warily all night, hehehe." Naruto grinned wider and chuckle heartily. "Though I still think you're a wuss Kiba. Just that and you folded like a leaf. It's like your mom tucking you in…"

"Shut up!"

"Wuss."

"Shut up! And it's not just that…"

Naruto frowned and looked at Gaara. "What is he saying?"

Gaara's eyebrow furrowed a bit.

"Hey Kiba, Gaara said you should tell us about it." Naruto demanded.

Kiba snarl at the blond. "He didn't say that."

"Of course he did."

"When?"

"He furrowed his eyebrows."

"THE MAN DOESN'T HAVE EYEBROWS!!!" Kiba shrieked at the blond furiously.

Gaara, who was again the topic of the discussion, sat silently at the table sipping his favorite coffee as he wonders how mean people are, especial to a sweet guy like him. Something, on the back of his head, cackle evilly.

"Just tell us Kiba." Shikamaru demanded through gritted teeth that made Kiba sat back again whimpering. "Fine. Fine. Fine."

"So?"

"Well…anou…ermmm…"

"Spit it out man." Naruto hissed.

"Fine. Well this happened after we, or rather, you woke up. Before I went for breakfast, like my usual routine, I went to the bathroom to pee but unfortunately I didn't notice him." Kiba with a shaky finger pointed to Gaara who was calmly seeping his drink. "Until I was already doing my business. I looked over my shoulder and there he was."

Sasuke face contorted into a frown. So what? It's normal to be with someone in a bathroom. It's like just…well sharing. Naruto and he do it all the time. Heck they even showered a few times.

Sasuke touched his nose as some blood trickled down from it as an image of a naked Naruto suddenly plundered his whole mind. He tried to pretend he was sneezing as he covered his nose and mouth. "So?" He asked to divert the attention away from him and back to Kiba.

"Well he was there…brushing."

"What? Are you afraid of a toothbrush???" Naruto frown in puzzlement and the same goes with Shikamaru.

Kiba scowled at the two and snapped. "NO! He was there brushing…slowly!"

"Huh?" Both Shikamaru and Naruto exclaimed.

Kiba almost tore his hair off in exasperation. "He was brushing slowly, as in thrusting the brush inside slowly and pulling it much slower. Don't you two fucking get it?!"

"Oh."

Sasuke shook his head again, he glared at Gaara and mouthed 'You're mean'.

Gaara responds to that was to sipped his drink as though he was not just been called meanie a few seconds ago, though deep in his heart he was hurt. It was sad, really…heartbreaking even…if only the fucking voice who's laughing maniacally in the background would stop. Can't a guy like him have some emo time and pretend he was _really_ hurt and he cares about what people think of him. Another evil cackle ensued.

Oh well there goes his sanity.

He sipped once more and looked at everyone impassively.

Heh, he was such a badass.

A loud squeak broke Gaara from his self-praising, he turned around only to be blinded by the brightest hair, save for the Naruto of course, he had ever seen. He almost flinched at the sight. Pink! Who wear pink nowadays!??!!

"Sasuke-kun!!! It must be fate that brought us together." The girl screeched and Gaara found himself cursing a bit as the sound kept grating his nerves and have a ringing effect on his ears. He shot a glare at the now annoyed Uchiha.

Sasuke scooped a bit as Sakura flung herself towards him and hugged him for dear life. He gave an annoyed grunt.

Gaara shook his head and glanced at Naruto's way only to receive an irritated growl from the blond. He raised his non-existent brow.

'Interesting.'

:TSUZUKI:

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Also please do read and review the fics of my dear friend: **carms-lian0592** _–bows down- _thank you.

**Sasuke: **What the hell is this?! This is just like a filler!!

**Late-Sleeper:** What?! _–rereads the whole chapter-_ it's not baka! It's a way to introduce Gaara _–drags Gaara in front of Sasuke-_ ne? Gaara?

**Gaara:** hn _–nods-_

**Sasuke:** why does he have to be introduced? We already have so many characters. You even drag my evil brother in here! _–glares-_

**Late-Sleeper: **Che! 'cause you need more competitions.

**Sasuke:** As if I'd be jealous of that… _-racks brain for biting comment-_ _**that**_!

**Gaara:** _-sips coffee-_ hn.

**Late-Sleeper:** WHA? You bastard! You should 'cause I'm making him Naruto's first!

**Sasuke:** You wouldn't _–threatening with daggers-_

**Late-Sleeper:** I would _–sneer-_

**Sasuke:** why you little queer! I'm going to kill you! _–punching the author with fury-_

**Late-Sleeper:** _-fighting back-_

**Gaara:** _-sips another coffee while watching the two idiots-_

**Beta:** _-is concerned about situation- -.-"_


	13. Fighting

**Imitating Myself**

**By: Late-Sleeper**

**Beta-reader: ****Pay Backs a Bitch**

**Disclaimer: **I don't own a thing…or else Naruto would be rated NC-17

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**Chapter 13: Fighting**

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Naruto angrily stomped inside their apartment Sasuke in tow, frowning deeply. "What the hell's gotten into you all of a sudden?!" Sasuke growled as he yanked Naruto's arm.

"My problem?! You're my problem!" Naruto screeched as he pulled his arm out of the Uchiha's grip.

Sasuke's frown deepened, Naruto's sudden mood swings were really grating his nerves for some reason. "What the hell?!"

Naruto groaned loudly in frustration as he stomped inside their room and shut the door with a loud slam that almost woke up the dead. He was pissed. Pissed beyond hell!

So pissed that he doesn't actually knew why to begin with…

He groaned again in frustration and slumped on his bed and covered his face with a pillow to muffle the loud scream his body is about to emit.

A loud knock broke him from his self-musing. He frowned at the door…actually wishing it to be set on fire and burn the house down. Heh, morbid.

"What the hell is wrong with you dobe?!"

"Nothing's wrong! Just go back and fuck that pink slut of yours!"

Oppss…that didn't sound right. Naruto frowned at his words, he shook his head and psyched himself that he wasn't really angry because of Sakura…no he's not….Sasuke must have done something that angered him…but it does not involved Sakura.

He's sure of that.

He's not jealous.

"Yeah like you're any better. Fine! Then go call Gaara and tell him that big 'ol Sasuke is being mean to you!" Sasuke growled at the other side of the door.

Naruto glare hardened once more, he didn't get why Sasuke was even dragging Gaara's name in their fight. "Well at least he's much nicer to me than you could ever be."

Sasuke who was seething with desire to punch the door with all his might restrained himself as he unconsciously bit his lower lip in agitation. Damn, he was fucking jealous of Naruto's boss right now.

"Fine!"

"Fine!" Naruto screamed back, though he felt a slight throb in his heart when Sasuke suddenly ended the argument. He wanted to hear Sasuke's voice once more, but the raven was no longer saying anything and it pained Naruto even more.

"And don't come near my bed again! You…you…" Naruto racked his brain for a biting comment. "…you stink!"

Naruto waited for some biting retort but received none. He waited for another minute more but the room was quite. He walked warily and waited for a telltale signs that Sasuke is still at the door listening, or maybe waiting for Naruto to open the door.

Naruto snorted and opened the door hurriedly. "Teme I know that you're…" But when he opened the door, he saw no one. A frown suddenly spread from his face and his hand unconsciously reached out to his chest and clutched on his shirt as though he was in great pain.

Maybe he was…

* * *

"And then we fought, he was being so mean to me Shika!" Naruto grabbed on to Shikamaru's shirt and bawled like a five years old kid whose lollipop had been stolen. Shikamaru felt the heated stares of nearby customer from other tables.

'Troublesome.'

Shikamaru squirmed and pushed Naruto's face away from him as the blond tried his hardest to attache himself from his friend's chest "Let go Naruto."

"WHAAAAA!!! But I said the meanest thing Shika! I told him to never come near my bed again because he stinks." Naruto cried more loudly while Shikamaru was frozen from his seat at that statement. "WHAT?!!"

Naruto let go of Shikamaru's shirt and pouted like a kid. "I know. I know. I'm the meanest."

Shikamaru this time grabbed on to Naruto's arms and shook him slightly, bewilderment written all over his face. "What the hell did you say?!"

"I said I'm the meanest."

"No! Fucking… not that! Did you just say you slept with the Uchiha?" Shikamaru shook Naruto forcefully, his nails digging into Naruto's arm painfully that the blond winced a bit.

Naruto nodded, puzzlement written all over his face. "So what?"

"So what?! SO WHAT?!!" Shikamaru screeched that people around them stopped a bit and glared at him, though Shikamaru was unfazed. He was freaking mad and shocked to care what the other people are thinking right now.

For god sake, his friend's chastity is at stake here…or maybe Naruto's no longer a vir…NOOOOOO!!!

Shikamaru's eyes widen at that thought. "You! Are you still a virgin?!"

Naruto's eyes widen like saucers at Shikamaru's questioning. "OF COURSE I'M STILL A VIRGIN!"

A loud grateful sigh escaped from Shikamaru's lips and he loosened his grip from the blond's arm. He thanked all the deity in heaven for saving his friend's chastity once again. He shook his head and laid it on the table as he calmed down his rapidly beating heart.

He took a moment to wonder if he would soon have a heart attack if he continued to be friends with Naruto.

"Shit! You scared me there for a second."

Naruto felt the pity stares at him; he also heard stifle laughter from nearby eavesdropper. He felt himself flushing with embarrassment. Damn! He just proclaimed to the whole world that he, Uzumaki Naruto, age 25, born with a wicked sexy body, face that could launched a thousand ship was still a fucking virgin. Smooth, Uzumaki, very smooth. Way to go in ruining your almost pristine clear reputation with the girls.

"Look what you fucking made me do Shika!" Naruto snarled at his smiling and contented looking friend.

Shikamaru just patted his friends back in response, which just earned him a heated glare. "Shit! I really thought that the fucking Uchiha already popped your cherries. Don't do that again." He sighed once more.

Naruto gave a big frown at the sighing genius. "I don't have cherries and why would the Uchiha want to pop my cherries? And how is it related to me being a virgin??!"

Shikamaru gaped at his friend's naivety which was really, really, really bordering to stupidity. Ah, the joy of corrupting such innocent minds. "Naruto, Naruto…troublesome…" He shook his head. "It means that the Uchiha had already fucked you on the butt."

"WHAT?! SASUKE AND I ARE NOT FUCKING EACH OTHER IN THE BUTT!!! PERVERT!!!" Naruto stood up and screamed with horror written allover his face. All the eavesdroppers fell from their seat laughing their hearts out at the blond's sudden outburst. Some even whistled at the blond's proclamation with malice while other conservative eavesdropper just blush…and wrote that single information on their handy dandy notebook for some use in the near future.

Shikamaru cringed at Naruto's reaction. Heh, the blond was cuter than hell when he burst like that mouthing stupid words and blushing like a little girl. Aww, he could really want to hug the blond right now…and kick his ass and throw him in a waste land to be feasted by pest. "Troublesome." He grabbed on to his friend's hand and pulled it hard. "Sit down."

Naruto reluctantly obeyed his friend as his face flush with mortification as people around them laugh aloud. Those good for nothing people, listening to someone else's conversation.

Naruto glared at Shikamaru, blaming him for all the humiliation he's getting right now. "I hate you." He snarled. "How can you say the Sasuke and I are even..even…even…" He felt his face flushing once more.

"Fucking." Shikamaru supplied nonchalantly.

Naruto blushed even more. "Yes, that."

Shikamaru smiled at how innocent the blond was projecting right now. Aww he couldn't even say the word fucking. "Fucking?!"

"…"

"You mean fucking?!"

"…"

"Fucking. Fucking. Fucking is that what you mean. The one were you stick your co…" Shikamaru was suddenly shut up with a hand on his mouth. "Yes, I mean fu…fucking. So will you stop saying it? Pervert." Naruto hissed.

Shikamaru smiled, fuck he was really getting addicted on teasing Naruto. Heh, Kiba was actually right for once.

Naruto took away his hands away from Shikamaru's mouth as he heard some snickers and cooing at the background. He glanced over his shoulder in time as some girls giggled and gush at how sweet the blond and the pineapple hair brunet were. He snarled at them.

"Bastard. How can you think that? Sasuke and I are not gay."

"Oh?"

"We're not!"

"Then why do you sleep in the same bed?"

"Because we're friends." Naruto snapped at Shikamaru with conviction. "And friends share beds when we feel like it."

"They do?"

"Yes, like when we go camping we share tents and share sleeping bags."

Shikamaru hummed in agreement. Well the blond did have a point there. He must have been thinking wrongly.

"Or like boys showering together."

Or maybe not.

"You…you shower…together?!" Shikamaru choked out.

"Duh, yes." Naruto smirked. "Like we use to in high school after PE or like we do in gyms."

Shikamaru frowned a bit, he was really getting squeamish on what else did his oh so innocent friends had done with the I'm-a-pervert-and-a-genius-at-it-Uchiha.

"Or like you do wrestling with each other and pin your opponent down on the floor. See there's no malice there. Just pure fun."

"…"

"Or how you joke around and slap your friends butt when you play basketball."

"You…You did all this things with the Uchiha?" Shikamaru frowned.

"Of course. It's just us being boys. We're that confident of our sexuality you know."

Shikamaru gave a loud sigh. "Do you and Uchiha…umm…tickle each other?"

"Yeah."

"Cuddle on the sofa while watching some films."

"Uh huh." Naruto smiled.

"Does he ruffle your hair whenever he feels like it?"

"Hmm…yeah."

"Does he tuck your head under his chin when you sleep together?"

"Yeah." Naruto frowned a bit. He wonders how Shikamaru could know all this things.

Shikamaru shook his head and gave a loud sigh of defeat. "Fine! I believe you. You two are not gay. You two are the most manly men I ever seen." 'In gay world.' Someone inside Shikamaru's head piped out. Must be the work of too much bonding-with-Kiba-time.

"Thought so." Naruto grin from ear to ear.

"Just don't fall in love with him." Shikamaru face-hardens while saying it. "Friends do fall in love…even if you're the _manliest men_."

"Eh?! How could you say that?! That's never going to happen. I'm straight. He's straight. We're straight as an arrow."

"Yeah, you two are straight as an arrow." 'Going in a U-turn.' Shikamaru laughed inside. "Just don't fall in love with him okay?"

Naruto frowned. "Hey Shika…how do I know if I'm falling in love?"

'Troublesome.' "Didn't you already fell in love with Sakura?"

"But it's already been years. I don't know what it feels like to fall in love again."

"Troublesome. Fine. How do you feel when Sasuke is around you?"

Naruto frowned and bit his lips as he ponders the question. "Well, I feel my heart beating faster whenever I see him, and I could feel my blood draining and I feel getting weak whenever he's near…and yeah I feel something in my stomach too." Naruto pointed on his tummy and look at Shikamaru expectantly.

"You." Shikamaru shook his head in defeat. "You…you're just hungry."

"Oh." Naruto lips form a small 'O' in awed with Shikamaru's explanation. His friend was really a genius. "So that's why. Hehehehe…it must be because of his chicken butt hair."

"Yes." Shikamaru agreed.

Naruto felt suddenly giddy inside when a hand touched his shoulder. "Dobe."

Naruto hurriedly glanced over his shoulder and his stomach made a flip as his eyes fell on Sasuke's face. He gave a small smile as Sasuke gave him a sad smile, an apologetic smile. "Teme."

Sasuke grin as he heard Naruto called him 'teme' once more. It was said in a soft tone. It was the tone use to say that he forgives him but can't say it because it was embarrassing as hell. But he understood it. He knew that tone. He was forgiven.

Naruto couldn't help himself as he too grin upon seeing Sasuke's grin. He was glad that Sasuke understood him…that they connect to each other even without words. They were connected…they were soul mates. He honestly he doesn't want it to end…to be broken.

He wanted the connection forever and falling in love would ruin what they have…so he must not fall in love with Sasuke.

Friends.

He must keep the friendship.

"Teme. Sit down. I'm getting _hungry_ again because of you."

"Dobe. You're always hungry."

Shikamaru felt himself fade into the background like a ninja spying at the two imbeciles who were making happy grinning lovey dovey faces at each other. Damn he wanted to puke with the sweetness. "Oh by the way Uchiha…"

"Huh?"

"Do you feel yourself palpitating, blushing, your stomach flipping whenever you're with Naruto?" Shikamaru inquired at the frowning man.

"Why?" Sasuke frowned deepened.

"Nothing. Just answer it." '_Just for my enjoyment_.' Shikamaru added thoughtfully.

"Yeah, teme just answer it." Naruto nudge his friend.

Sasuke face broke in a perverted grin as Naruto whined for him to answer the question. Aww…it was like confessing. "Yes." '_And I also feel my pants tighten and blood pools down south and also..._'

His perverted thoughts were suddenly interrupted when a loud shrill popped his eardrums "WHAAAAAAAAA Sasuke wants to _eat_ me!!!"

That scream started the flood of blood that drowned many people courtesy of the Uchiha's nose.

**TSUZUKU**

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Late-Sleeper:

So review people! Write anything, comment, even flames, just right something, even about nonsensical things like how you like your dog, or anything you want to share with…just talk dammit! So that I know that people are still reading this fic. Please.

**Sasuke:** It's your fault anyway, you went on a long hiatus. Stupid.

**Late-Sleeper:** I know, I know. I'm sorry. –c_ries_-

**Sasuke:** Stupid. Stop crying for god sake. Suck it up like a man.

**Late-Sleeper:** -_stops crying_- …

**Sasuke:** -_wonders_- …

**Late-Sleeper:** -_perverted grin_- you do know that it sounds perverted in so many ways what you've just said.

**Sasuke:** …

**Late-Sleeper:** Oh Naruto –_wanders around_- come here Uke, Uke, Uke. –_coos_-


	14. Dating

**Imitating Myself**

**By: Late-Sleeper**

**UNBETA**

**Disclaimer: **I don't own a thing…or else Naruto would be rated NC-17

UNBETA…

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**Chapter 14: Dating**

* * *

"So how did the date go, Uchiha?" Shikamaru asked as he made himself comfortable on his seat inside the quiet café. He saw the raven frowned.

"Fine."

"Fine? Just fine?" Kiba frowned. "Come on spill the beans Uchiha, I'm losing a lot on money on you and I need to know if you're taking your job seriously!"

"It went well. Satisfied?" Sasuke growled ready to pounce on the dog-man if he was provoked more. Morals and social status be damn! The dog breath was asking for it.

"You two did kiss at least, right?" Kiba wiggled his brow at the raven whose face suddenly contorted with disgust.

"Oh come on. It wouldn't be that bad?" Kiba chided.

Sasuke glared daggers at Kiba and hoped that it would actually, _physically_ hurt the man even just the slightest.

Where was Naruto when he needed him?

Shikamaru shook his head and made a sidelong glance at his seatmate on his right. The man hadn't said anything which is actually normal for him but still the red head was actually very attentive on their current conversation; he could feel it with the red haired eyes twinkle and movement.

"You should at least kiss him Sasuke." Shikamaru sighed. "That was the whole point in all of these; that Sakura would fall madly in love with you."

Sasuke rolled his eyes at him.

"Fuck! Don't tell me you're still a virgin?" Kiba suddenly exclaimed disrupting the stillness of the whole café. Some patrons threw glares his way and some shook their head. The sudden feeling of eyes on him made Kiba leaned forward and talked in small voice. "You do know how to kiss, right?"

Sasuke rolled his eyes at the dog breath and slump his body on the comfortable chair. He was getting a huge migraine talking to Kiba like this. "Of course I do."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes." A hiss escaped his lips.

"Then what about sex? You have some experienced right, and I'm not talking about Ms. Mary-the-right-hand sex."

Sasuke felt a vein twitched on his temple uncontrollably. "…"

Sasuke's silence gave a resounding 'No' to Kiba's ears. He snickered a bit at how pathetic the ice princess was. "What? Then you are really a virgin! Oh may god. I can't believe that the mighty Uchiha is still a fucking virgin."

Kiba's boisterous laugh echoed throughout the room and gain perverted eavesdropper tuning into their conversation. Some girls went all ears as they heard the name Uchiha.

"Shut up Kiba. You're drawing too much attention." Shikamaru grunted and added 'troublesome'.

"Sorry, sorry." Kiba grinned and whispered. "But come on, it was funny as hell! This guy…" Pointing at the irritated Sasuke. "…is still a fucking virgin."

"…"

"Is it because the 'jr.' couldn't stand up alone? Do you need some meds? I can buy you some." A snickered escaped Kiba's lips while Shikamaru rolled his eyes at his friend's antic. Gaara on the other hand was watching them, way _too_ intently.

"Fuck you dog-breath." Sasuke growled back.

"Oh my god. Is it because you're gay?" Kiba feigned shock then laughed out again.

"So what if I am." That made Kiba stops his uncontrollable sniggers.

"What?"

"I'm gay. So what about it?"

Kiba gaped at Sasuke for a whole minute or two. He actually didn't peg Sasuke to be gay because…well because he was cool, mysterious, and…well mostly cool. Not that he would admit that to the Uchiha, but come on a cool guy like him wouldn't be suited to be gay. "Are you serious?"

"…"

"Oh my god! You are! Shit! Don't take this wrongly Uchiha but you…you'll never look good in a dress." Kiba shudders as he imagines the Uchiha in a frilly dress dancing and singing Britney's song '_I'm not a girl_'.

"…ever." He added and shudder some more.

"Stupid. I have no intention doing drag. I'm not like you."

"What did you say? Come here you fucking ass-face…" Kiba launched himself towards Sasuke but he was stop by Gaara's death glare.

Oppsss he forgot Gaara's here. He took his seat once more and grumbled. "Your lucky we're in a public place." Heh, he'd die first before he admitted that he stopped because he was afraid of Gaara. Which he is not!

"Troublesome." Shikamaru shook his head. "You really need to learn how to do it you know. To please Sakura."

Sasuke frowned, disgusted at Shikamaru's suggestion. "I'm only going to do it with the one I'll spend the life with." 'And as if I'll get hard with anyone other than the dobe'. Sasuke added thoughtfully.

He remembered how hard he tried to have sex with different girls and even (insert collected gasps here) _boys_ just to check if he was straight or gay.

…but sadly he came with one answer…he was _partially_ impotent…yes, Sasuke at the age of twenty-five had no sexual desire for both sexes…unless that certain someone is by the name of Uzumaki Naruto, age 25, nice ass, big blue eyes and blond hair.

So, in conclusion he was gay for his dobe, and he'd be damn stupid if he let the dobe slip away. **He wants to have sex and he'll going to get it.**

"Fuck! I can't believe I'm hearing that from you. Shit! You're such a girl. Come on this is year 2000 and you're still acting like a virgin from the 16th century. People fuck and go. No one is still virgin anymore." Kiba tried to explained the concept of 'sex and play' to Sasuke and tried to wake the damn Uchiha from his 'fairytale romance'.

"Naruto still is."

Kiba grinned at Sasuke. "Oh but Naruto didn't plan on it. It just that no one wants to have sex with him. It's not like he have a choice." He snickered a bit.

Shikamaru only rolled his eyes at Kiba…He wondered a bit if Kiba was talking about the 'Naruto' as in 'Naruto-their-friends-who's-ass-was pinched-by-too-many-perverts-he could-think-of', seriously ignorance was really a bliss, then Kiba must be really in paradise.

Though then again Gaara was always looking like he was going on a mass murder if someone did came near the blond.

…so yeah, maybe it was partially true that it was not Naruto's fault he's still a virgin…it was mainly Gaara's and _his_ fault…

"Anyway…at least have sex with the one you got hots on for god sake." Kiba frowned; he can't believe he was giving advice to a gay man about homo relationship.

"As if that is so easy. I've been crushing on him like forever and we're still 'just friends'." Sasuke rolled his eyes in annoyance. Why the hell is he even listening to Kiba?

"Then you must be doing it wrong. Or maybe you're not even doing anything at all?"

"Che, so what?"

"So what? You need to lure him in. You need to at least do something!" Kiba screeched.

"I agree with Kiba." Gaara suddenly spoke making Shikamaru fall off his chair in shock while Kiba gaped at the red head. "If you want somebody, don't expect that person would just fly to you…you should at least put an effort to win that person over…"

Kiba mouth imitated a gold fish as he stared at Gaara with horror. He couldn't figure out what shock him the most…Gaara saying something audible or Gaara talking about 'love'. Whatever it is, it was still a huge phenomenon.

Shit! Is it the end of the world? Was Gaara abducted by aliens? Or was he just going crazy? NOOOOO!

Gaara smirked at his three gaping companion and continued. "If it doesn't work…well, you just have to do it the hard way. There are words such as: KIDNAP, RAPE, BLACKMAIL, and TORTURE. Be creative." He grinned as he counted the many ways to do it with his fingers.

"…"

"But I like to mix and match. So, my top favorite would be kidnap, rape then torture. It works like a charm."

Kiba gasped a bit and squirm on his seat. Gaara frown at it. "What? I think it is a very good idea."

Kiba just looked at him horrified. "Come on admit it, so did you."

"…"

"It's okay. Don't worry it doesn't actually make you a horrible person. It just means you have a good taste for the finer things in life — chaos, gore, pain, suffering, and outright humiliation. That's why we get along so well, you and I…" Gaara lifted Kiba's chin to close the dog-breath gaping mouth with his finger.

Shikamaru shook his head as he snapped out of his bewilderment at Gaara's sudden bout of insanity. He shudder a bit at how insanely Gaara could be sometimes.

"Troublesome. You do realize who Sasuke is talking about?" He asked the red head who was suddenly returned back to his old creepy brooding self again.

"Yes."

Sasuke felt Gaara's heated glare thrown at him which he matched with the same intensity.

"_**I Know. Who. And I'm. Not. Happy. With. It.**_" Gaara spoke slowly and punctuated every word threateningly. Sasuke though was not unfazed at Gaara's threatening voice. He already lived with the devil for all his life, a little spawn of hell like Gaara is just a piece of cake to him.

"Though I'm still _his_ friend. Even though I don't like you…" Gaara eyes pointed daggers at Sasuke. "I still want his happiness."

"Tsk." Shikamaru clicked his tongue and rolled his eyes, seems like Gaara and him have the same view and thoughts on this matter.

"Wait? I don't get a thing?" Kiba suddenly piped out which lessened the tension between the three. "Who the hell are you talking about?"

Gaara frowned a bit and slightly shook his head.

"He said you're an idiot and idiot should just die." Kiba suddenly jumped off his seat in fright as someone suddenly spoke behind him. He turned around and saw the snickering Naruto.

"Hell! Blondie! Don't fucking sneak on me like that!"

"Geez, someone overdose on caffeine again. Tsk. Tsk. Tsk. Do we need to take you again to rehab dog-breath."

"Fuck you!"

"Now you're a sex addict! NOOO! What have you done to your life?" Naruto hugged Kiba and mock-cried while Kiba squirm a bit to punch the blond. "Get off! I'm fucking going to kill you."

"Heh, you love me too much to go through with your threat." Naruto grinned at Kiba.

"Hi guys! What are you three girls, gossiping about? Is it the sexy, most eligible bachelor voted by cosmo mag, cutest as hell _me_?"

"Dream on Naruto." Sasuke sneered at Naruto while offering him his drink.

"Well dreams are free anyway." Naruto grin back at Sasuke as he reached out to take the offered drink. "So what are you three talking about?"

"Sasuke and his long time cr…" Shikamru cleared his throat stopping Kiba from spilling the beans which Kiba only frown in confusion from being interrupted. Heh, Kiba still had no idea what's really going on. "Naruto, how did it go?"

"Oh that? Well it was actually a success."

"What is?" Sasuke frown. He actually didn't know where the blond went and why.

Naruto grin at Sasuke and walked towards the raven's seat and sat down on the raven's armchair. He snaked his hand on Sasuke's shoulder and his grin went wider. "You my friend are going to a _whore house_!"

"WHAT?"

**To be continued**…somehow

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**Late_Sleeper:** As I was reading this…I really thought I already uploaded this chapter somewhere…the content was the same and I know I already posted it…or was it de javu…or I'm just stupid. Must be the latter. Anyway review away if you think so too…


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